


Find

by aikrm



Series: Find [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bathing/Washing, Blood and Injury, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Kidnapping, Kinda, Medical Examination, Medical Procedures, Multi, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Sexual Violence, Sickfic, Slow Burn, Violence, Whump, Wordcount: 30.000-50.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:02:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28747383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aikrm/pseuds/aikrm
Summary: Seven months.That’s how long Armin Arlert had been missing.But he wasn’t just missing.He was missing presumed dead.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert & Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman/Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Series: Find [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107557
Comments: 61
Kudos: 319





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story involves graphic depiction of injury, rape/non-con on a minor, kidnapping, human trafficking, amongst other awful things. Please do not read if these topics are triggering for you, take care of yourselves.

Seven months.

That’s how long Armin Arlert had been missing.

Things weren’t the same without him. His contagious smile was gone from their lives. His spot at the dinner table was empty, and no one occupied his warm bed at night.

But he wasn’t just missing.

He was missing presumed dead.

It had been so long since they’d last seen him. The case of the sudden disappearance of Armin Arlert had gone cold, and although they wouldn’t say it, everyone had lost hope that he would ever come back. 

They were adjusting to a life without his beautiful blue eyes and his radiant smile, and it was never easy.

The Jaeger’s were sitting at the dinner table. Eren, his parents, and Mikasa, sitting down to one of the hundreds of meals they’d had without Armin’s company.

The phone rang.

Doctor Jaeger answered, it was most likely work related anyway. 

There was indistinct chatting, sirens so loud they could be heard from the other end of the phone, before Grisha eventually put the phone down. 

He looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“They found Armin.”


	2. Chapter One

“They found Armin.”

Everyone leaped out of their seats.

“Are you serious?!”

“He’s alive?!”

“He’s been found?!”

The Doctor was assaulted by a multitude of shocked questions and disbelief. His youngest son spoke up.

“Th-They found him? Or... they found his body?” Eren’s voiced was choked up with sobs at the thought that his best friend, his brother, could finally be confirmed dead.

“He’s alive, I won’t know the details until I get to the scene..” Eren’s father grabbed his Doctor’s bag and put on his coat.

“I’m coming with you!” The younger brunette boy spoke up. Both of the girls were stunned in a state of shock, they were going to see their sweet precious Armin again.

He was going to be back in their lives.

Eren pushed the emotional shock to the back of his mind, eager to take initiative.

“Absolutely not.” His father shot him down. “I don’t know the condition he’s in. You three are to wait for us at the hospital, understand?”

“Dad-“

“Understand?”

Grisha didn’t waste another second instructing his family on what they should do.

——————————-

He arrived at the location his paramedic coworker had sent him. It was a dingy looking place, just a small abandoned house. It was as unsuspecting as any.

But this so called ‘small abandoned house’ had a gigantic underground complex, for reasons which Grisha hadn’t been filled in on yet.

He rushed past the police tape and down the stairs. Armin was here. He was here and he was alive. He was going to be okay.

After navigating through a couple disgusting, damp and mouldy rooms, he caught sight of the paramedic that had given him the call.

And then, in the corner of his eye, on the floor and covered in layers of blankets from the ambulance, he saw Armin.

Rudely pushing past anyone in the way, he sought to get to his adopted son. He would apologise for shoving them out of the way later, he needed to be at Armin’s side.

Armin must have heard him running over, because he looked up and despite the high amount of intravenous painkillers he was on, his big blue eyes lit up. “D-Dad..” He wept. “Dad, you... c-came for me..”

Grisha’s heart shattered. Neither of the children he had taken in, Armin nor Mikasa, had called him ‘Dad’ before.

He knelt down beside the boy and ran his hands through his dirty hair, that was more ashy brown than the golden blonde he remembered. “Armin..”

Despite how stoic he had to be to have a job like his, he couldn’t stop himself from breaking down. He wiped a tear from his cheek. “Armin, Armin.. It’s you, you’re here..”

The paramedic who had taken care of Armin whilst Doctor Jaeger got there let them have their moment and then resumed to addressing the situation at hand.

“There’s a big nasty brand mark on his right hip. Right shoulder dislocated, five broken ribs, comminuted fracture to his left ulna. His back, buttocks and thighs are covered in gashes and bruises, most likely from a whip, crop, or something similar. Severe bruising around his neck and hips. Rope burns around his wrists and ankles.”

Grisha took in the information with what should have been practiced ease, but the fact that it was Armin laying there nearly broken in two made it so unimaginably difficult. But the paramedic didn’t stop there.

“Evidence of rape, forced oral and anal penetration by the looks of it, seemingly with both phalluses and foreign objects. He’s bleeding heavily from his back end. Seems recent.”

The Doctor’s heart caught in his throat. Why? What would drive someone to do something so horrible to little Armin.

Armin, who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Who treated even the occasional spider in the house with respect deserving of a living creature.

“This place is a human trafficking ring, the underground compound is huge. They’ve found about twenty young girls here, not including the ones that have already been sold that they’re tracking down from the leaders bank history..” As if on cue, the paramedic answered his question. “I’ve put him on a morphine and saline drip, he’s extremely dehydrated.”

He paled. Mikasa had been saved from that fate many years ago, if only he could have done the same for his boy.

Armin groaned in pain.

“It’s alright Armin.” Grisha gently took Armin’s relatively uninjured hand in his own. “I’m here, we’re gonna help you, okay?”

The fifteen year old managed a weak nod, and Grisha got to work.

“Roll him onto his left side, I’m gonna treat the burn first..” He instructed to his partner, who got Armin into position, though not without causing him pain.

The doctor flushed out the wound with cold water and used his fingers to clean the exposed flesh. The blonde boy cried out in pain and tried to jerk away. He quickly bandaged the wound, there wasn’t much he could do for it right here.

“Can you up the dose of morphine?”

“He’s already had the maximum amount for his weight, he’s been completely malnourished.” The paramedic frowned sympathetically.

Grisha set to work on the rest of his wounds, bandaging, making splints and setting limbs, poor Armin had screamed the place down when he had reset his dislocated shoulder.

Now all that was left was the injuries left on Armin from the rape. He’d been putting it off for the longest time, but the time had come where he needed to treat it.

“Roll him onto his front, I’m gonna check the damage back there..”

The paramedic complied. “Try not to interfere with any evidence of you can, they’re going to want to do a rape kit.”

Armin must have understood what was going on, because he let out a terrified squeal that broke Grisha’s heart.

“N-No, don’t... touch me, p-please.. I promise I’ll n-never do anything wrong e-ever again... p-please...”

The Doctor swallowed back a sob. “Armin, I’m not going to hurt you. No one’s going to hurt you ever again, you understand? But you’re injured, and you need to let me look.”

His small patient whimpered “Y-You’re not going to touch?”

It felt like Armin was six years old again.

Back when Grisha used to treat him for superficial injuries like the ones he got from the bullies, or when he caught the annual flu.

Each time, until Armin grew to trust him, he’d have to swear that he wasn’t going to hurt him.

Now it seemed like he had reverted back to that little abused six year old that didn’t trust a single person he met.

Grisha reassured his son. “No, I’m not. I swear on my life.”

The blonde buried his face in his good arm. “O-Okay.”

Doctor Jaeger tentatively pried Armin apart, the copious amounts of dried blood making the area sticky. He observed he damage, and even without an internal exam and all the tacky redness blocking his view, he could see a rather large tear.

As promised, he didn’t go any further, and left Armin alone after he’d done his external inspection.

“Giant tear at 5 o’clock, it’s gonna need stitching. I’ll do an internal exam after the forensic team are done with him, get him into the ambulance and to the hospital quickly.”

“Sir.” The paramedic called another one of his colleagues over and hoisted Armin onto a stretcher, the boy cried out in pain at the movement.

———————————

The ambulance ride was uneventful.

When they finally arrived and wheeled Armin into the ER, three concerned, anxious people in the waiting room jumped out of their seats and rushed over to him.

The rest of Armin’s family, that was.

“Armin, Armin, you’re alive. You’re okay!” Eren didn’t bother holding back his tears, he leaned over rails of the stretcher that the injured boy was laying on.

“Don’t touch him, he’s hurt.” Eren’s father warned.

Mikasa joined Eren at Armin side, grabbing one of his small hands and stroking it gently. The blonde opened his eyes. “Eren... Mikasa...” He tried to smile but his tired face and the pain wouldn’t allow it. “I-I missed you..”

“We missed you too...” The raven haired girl sniffled. “But you’re back... you’re back with us now..”

Armin hummed in agreement.

“We need to hurry and get him into surgery, you can tell him how much you love him later..” As much as the Doctor hated to break up the moment his children were sharing, Armin’s health and safety was the priority.

And so he let the surgeons take him, and waited with his wife and children for Armin to come back out of that operating room.


	3. Chapter Two

It was early hours of the next day when Armin returned from surgery.

Eren rushed to his side as soon as he saw that familiar mop of blonde hair on the gurney, Mikasa and his parents on his heels.

The blood and dirt that previously covered the injured boy was gone, and fresh white bandages were left in its place.

The bandage on his left forearm had been replaced with a sturdier cast to support the fracture as it healed.

Armin had also been dressed in some loose patient clothes, hiding a lot of the bandages and injuries around his chest.

Eren was sure there were countless other wounds that had been accounted for underneath the blue hospital issued blanket that covered him.

What shocked the brunette the most was the sheer amount of wires coming out of his friends body in multiple areas.

He had two separate cannulas in the back of his hand and the crook of his elbow for pain relief and saline, a blood pressure cuff around his bicep, an oximeter clipped onto his fingertip, and a cardiac monitor with wires and patches that connected to five different spots on the blond’s chest.

The surgeon who had been in charge of Armin’s operation spoke up. “We took a sample from his left forearm and did a skin graft on the burn. The arm would have later needed to be cut into to fix the comminuted fracture there anyway, so we were doing our best to cut our losses. Stitched the major cuts that were scattered all over his body, and bandaged and disinfectant the minor ones. I haven’t touched anything below the waist, that’s for the S.A.F.E to deal with when they arrive later. They’ll be expected at around 11 am today, in the meantime we’ll get him to his room and I’ll have a nurse insert a foley catheter.”

Eren struggled to keep up with what the man was saying. He knew that this was information for his father, not him, but he was desperate to know his best friend’s condition. He caught everything except for that abbreviation, but he could worry about that later.

Armin was okay, that was all that mattered.

“I see, thank you.” The brunette’s father sighed as he encouraged his family to follow him to where they were taking Armin.

The blond boy’s bed was parked inside of one of the hospital rooms, the surgeon left shortly after.

Eren took a seat beside his friend and stroked through his hair gently. It was slightly longer than usual, after being neglected for so long. Still, it managed to retain its usual softness after all Armin had been through.

“When do you think he’s gonna wake up?” The brunette asked softly, in a voice so gentle and unlike his, that it shocked even him.

“The anaesthesia should wear off within an hour, but Armin’s exhausted, and may remain asleep for many hours longer.” His father told him, the Doctor unable to keep himself from checking the small patients vitals despite not currently being on a work shift.

Mikasa took up a seat beside Eren and watched Armin quietly. Oh how she had missed him, being able to see him so peacefully asleep right in front of her eyes was all she could’ve dreamed of in that moment.

Carla was seated at the opposite side of Armin’s bed, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb. The same way she had when she was trying to help him go back to sleep after a nightmare when he was younger.

“What happened to him?” The ebony haired girl inquired after a long moment of sitting in silence. “I heard about most of his injuries from that surgeon, but you haven’t told any of us how he got to be in this state.”

Grisha paused for a moment, as if internally fussing over what words he would use, before finally speaking up. “Armin was kidnapped the night he went missing.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed with rage and even Mikasa struggled to keep her raw emotion off of her face.

“He was mistaken for a girl, and taken by human traffickers who were hoping to sell him.” The Doctor frowned. “A lot like your situation six years ago, Mikasa.”

“But I wasn’t there for Armin like I was for Mikasa.” Eren choked back a sob. “If I’d have just attended his school club with him and been there to walk him home, _none_ of this would have happened.”

Carla and Grisha tried to interject, but Mikasa sniffled and continued. “It’s my fault too... I should have been there to protect him..”

“That’s enough, you two... Armin wouldn’t want you blaming yourselves. If he could hear you right now, what you just said right now would have really upset him.” Carla wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Don’t beat yourself up about what should have been done, instead be here now and support him now.”

“Th-Then what happened to him?” Mikasa snivelled quietly.

“From what we’ve seen, we can assume that upon discovering he was male and couldn’t be easily sold, he was instead kept and used personally by the people running the trafficking ring.”

“U-Used?” Eren stuttered.

“I didn’t want to tell you right away, but...” Doctor Jaeger took a deep breath. “He was abused, both physically and sexually.”

Carla’s breath caught in her throat, Mikasa clasped a hand over her mouth in shock, Eren froze as rigid as a telephone pole.

“The S.A.F.E team have an appointment with him later today, we’ll know more after that.”

“S.A.F.E?”

“Sexual assault forensic examiner. After they’re done collecting any evidence they can, only then will I be able to treat his internal injuries.”

“You mean he’s still hurt and you’re not doing anything about it?!” Eren rose from his seat.

“If we want the people who did this to him to be charged with everything then we don’t have a choice, Eren!”

The father and son squabble was put to an abrupt end by a knock at the door.

It was the nurse, she was here to insert Armin’s catheter.

Carla and Mikasa excused themselves with the pretence of going to buy drinks from the vending machine.

It was uncomfortable to watch, to say the very least, and so Eren averted his eyes after the first couple seconds. In fact, he wished he’d gone with his mother too.

Armin didn’t deserve any of this.

Armin had never hoped to bring harm to anyone in this world, so why would someone ever want to harm him?

The nurse excused herself, and Eren once again found himself staring at his friends battered body.

———————————

Armin roused five and a half hours later.

He moaned softly as he tried to open his eyes, his arms felt too heavy to even attempt to reach up and rub them awake.

His head felt like it weighed ten hundred pounds. Trying to lift it was completely out of the question. Could this be the effects of the painkillers he’d been given?

Blinking his eyes open weakly, he tried to locate another person in the room. Alas, he was only met with sight of the ceiling, his vision blackening around the edges and cutting off his peripheral view.

Out of other options, he attempted to call out for someone, but the words came out of his mouth in muted whispers. “..or... Ja...r”

The blonde heard Eren’s voice, although his tone sounded like he was shouting, Armin couldn’t hear him all too well.

Still, he managed to make out what his friend was saying. “You’re finally awake! How are you feeling?”

How was he _feeling_? Well, as he’d noticed before, his head weighed a ton, and it was causing his neck to ache despite the fact that his muscles were completely relaxed.

His left arm was throbbing, a distant pain that even the morphine couldn’t completely erase. His right hip felt like it was on fire, and all the way down his back and legs were sharp, but much less severe pains.

And _oh_ \- His hole was _burning_.

His rear felt like it was _searing_ with raw, hot, angry flashes of soreness that travelled up his spine and around to his abdomen.

Before Armin had taken those couple seconds to focus on the various aspects of torture that his body felt like it was going through, the blond was planning to answer Eren with ‘Okay’.

Now he wasn’t so sure he could tell the lie even if it meant that his friend wouldn’t worry.

“I-“ The small patient vocalised weakly. “Hur...ts..”

“One second, I’ll go get my dad.”

And with that, Eren left.

Did Eren know? Had the brunette been told of the ways he’d been violated and sodomised repeatedly?

Would Eren think he was disgusting? Tainted? Weak and worthless? Did he think he was a useless bitch for allowing that to happen to him?

Armin couldn’t stop the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

He _was_ worthless. Worthless, and now tainted and filthy too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got to experience the effects of morphine recently. That shit is awful.


	4. Chapter Three

As promised, Eren had fetched his dad.

“Armin, you’re awake!” The Doctor had rushed to the blond’s bedside immediately, checking his vitals amongst other things for anything wrong.

The small boy tried to speak up. “..I-... want... s-sit up..” Grisha looked sceptical, but grabbed the remote at the side of Armin’s bed and adjusted him into a sitting position.

Armin’s body protested greatly and the movement and the shift in weight, but he didn’t want to be stuck on his back any longer.

Upon sitting up and blinking the stars out of his vision, he noticed that his entire family was in the room, how hadn’t he seen them earlier?

Eren, Mikasa, Aunt Carla, and Doctor Jaeger were all in the room with him. Armin suddenly felt a sense of guilt and humility rush over him and was unconvinced about whether he was still going to voice his pain.

Did _all_ of them know what had been done to him?

With Armin’s luck, he should have seen it coming that Eren would’ve spoken up for him anyway. “It sounded like you were saying ‘it hurts’.”

“Where does it hurt, Armin?” His adoptive father’s concerned voice was heard immediately.

Armin’s face flushed and his averted his eyes, but he could still feel the gaze of their three collective pairs on him. 

Why did he feel so uncomfortable around them? They were his family. He’d grown up with them. _They’d raised him_. 

It had only been seven months, so why did it feel like he didn’t know them?

Yet here he was, being asked about the pain that remained after seven months of repeated assault. 

He didn’t feel like he could tell them how he felt.

After the realisation that Armin wasn’t prepared to answer his question, Grisha sat down beside the blond’s bed and started to talk.

“The S.A.F.E will be here in around forty five minutes, you need to decide whether or not you’re going to go through with the examination.”

The blond knew that Doctor Jaeger was aware of the fact that he already knew what a S.A.F.E was. That must have been why he didn’t explain the subject further. 

The logical side of Armin’s brain kicked in, something that had been out of use for the best part of a year. The Doctor hadn’t treated his injuries from the sexual assault, because he didn’t want to interfere with potential evidence. That was why he was in so much pain in that region.

He had to think, did he want to go through with the exam as Grisha had said? 

Of course he didn’t, he didn’t want to be touched there ever again. He didn’t want anyone’s fingers or swabs or tools inside of him, scraping his insides of any DNA they could hope to find.

He didn’t want to be subjected to the humiliation of having to lie there, his legs open, at their mercy.

Would his abusers reoffend if not put away properly? Or worse, would they be set free without the evidence of their disgusting semen deep inside of him, or their dried saliva on his hips and neck?

_Armin didn’t know_.

Setting aside the humiliation of the exam, would it hurt? Would the painkillers he was on be enough to dull the agony of their fingers as they worked their way inside of him like serrated knives? 

Would Armin be able to convince his traumatised mind in the moment that he wasn’t being raped again? 

He just wanted to go home. 

If only the blond could wish his injuries away, then he’d be back at home with his friends where he belonged.

His friends.

How was he going to tell them where he’d been?

No, enough. One problem at a time.

If only the earth would open up to swallow Armin whole. 

It was then that Armin remembered his family in the room, they were waiting on an answer. He took the deepest breath he could manage with his many fractured ribs.

“...I- I don’t.. know...” 

Grisha grabbed hold of the blond’s hand gently and began to stroke it in a comforting manner. “I understand. But please remember that your injuries are severe and they’re not getting any better as we speak. If you’re going to agree to the exam, it’ll have to be today.”

It’ll have to be today.

_It’ll have to be today_.

_** It’ll have to be today.  ** _

_**Today**_.

The words echoed loudly in Armin’s head.

He remembered the way his rapist spoke to him the night he was captured. 

_ ‘Look beautiful, you’re gonna have to give up your tight little virgin asshole to one of us eventually, but it’s me you’re dealing with, so it looks like it’s going to have to be today.’ _

Armin was violated for the first time that night. It was painful, the dry, burning friction and the excruciating stretching, an entirely new and unwelcome sensation. The blood dripped from his abused ass freely afterwards, he thought he was going to die. 

After that first night, Armin no longer wanted to be found and saved. He _wanted_ to die.

He was broken, tainted. He would never be the person he was twenty four hours ago ever again.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone at the door. A woman in her late twenties wearing a hospital uniform. How long had Armin been caught up in his own head if the examiner was already here? No, surely she was early.

Armin instinctively hid under his blanket. He felt like a child, but he didn’t care. He was scared, _so_ very scared.

He did his best not to hear the examiner’s brief conversation with his adoptive parents, he was trembling so aggressively under the covers. How could his weak body move so easily now on instinct when before felt like shifting mountains?

The blond shrieked pathetically when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He was smiling earlier when he got out of the ambulance, wasn’t he? How had these emotions only hit him just now?

Mikasa was the person behind the gentle touch, although before he looked from under the covers and saw her face, his mind tricked him into believing the touch was malicious.

“Armin, I know our situations were different but.. When you’re scared, I find that it helps to think of ways in which the situation you’re currently in is different from horrible past experiences...” 

The half Japanese girl rubbed his upper back gently. The touch was pleasant, warm, and Armin leaned into it without realising.

Think, what about this place is different than back there?

There was the examiner to begin with, she was a petite young women. His attackers, mostly large middle aged men.

The hospital room was bright and warm, he was dry, and there were clothes on his back. His cell back at the ring was damp, cold, and dark. The walls, floor, and ceiling made from concrete. Armin was always naked.

His family was here with him, in contrast to the way that the blond was left alone at all times except for when he was being used or punished. 

Armin breathed a deep breath. He felt a lot better now. 

Mikasa realised this, and offered him such a warm smile. He should thank her, but his heart was still in his throat and he didn’t trust himself to speak.

The unfamiliar woman in the room finally addressed Armin directly.

“Hello Armin, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Lara, I’m a sexual assault forensic examiner here.”

Armin visibly winced and recoiled.

“I’m not going to touch you yet or do anything without your permission, I just want to talk to you about what we’re going to do and help you decide whether or not you want to do the exam, okay?”

Her demeanour was so friendly and harmless, Armin couldn’t help but relax slightly at her words. He nodded, a weak, defeated nod.

“That’s wonderful, thank you. Would you like to speak with me on your own-“

The blond shook his head back and forth with as much force as his could muster in his injured state. He _needed_ his family here.

“Okay, then here they’ll stay.” She smiled and took up a chair beside Armin’s bed.

Armin wasn’t used to his demands or requests being met with respect, it was odd. He was half expecting to be smacked for disagreeing with her suggestion.

“I’m going to walk you through what will happen. Remember that if you decide to go through with this, you can stop, pause, or skip a step entirely at any time. It is entirely your choice to make.”

Armin nodded and idly scratched and area of his chest where a heart monitor sticker itched at his skin.

“First we’ll ask you about your medical history, any medications, medical conditions or other things will be addressed before the exam.” Doctor Lara spoke gently to her young patient. “Then we’ll do the examination in question. It’ll include a full body examination, including internal examinations of the mouth and anus.”

The blond’s stomach did a flip inside him and the boy had to resist the urge to hurl.

“This may also include taking samples of blood and urine, swabs and sometimes hair samples. I may want to take pictures of your body to document your injuries, with your permission, of course.”

Armin couldn’t see himself consenting to that part of the exam, even if he did end up agreeing to do the procedure.

“And after we’ve taken everything we can, the examination will be finished, and Doctor Jaeger will treat your injuries and get you cleaned up.” The examiner finished.

It sounded as awful as Armin had imagined. He felt himself leaning more towards denying consent to the exam.

“You’ll have time after the exam to decide whether you want to report the findings, and of course, this will increase the risk of prosecution for your attacker.” 

Armin took another deep breath, Sho had stopped talking, giving him ample time to think it over. 

If Armin didn’t do this, would his rapist do the same thing to more innocent people, the way he had done to him?

Could Armin prevent a future rape case? 

Of course he probably couldn’t, he was never significant enough to change a thing. Still...

Doctor Jaeger would have to take a look and treat him down there eventually anyway, right? 

And if there was the slightest chance that the blond’s bravery could spare someone else...

Armin bit back a whine. “I’ll do it.”

Doctors began shuffling around and making preparations, and Armin was hit with the notion that they most likely wanted to do this right now.

“Um..” Armin spoke up. “Wh-when you do the exam... umm... afterwards... when... c-can I go back home?”

Eren listened as his father sighed quietly. “As your Doctor, you’re still hurt and very weak. I want to keep you on IV saline, painkillers, and antibiotics for at least a couple more days. We still don’t know the extent of the damage, there could be serious internal injuries that we don’t know about.

The blond’s face fell. “I’m sorry Armin, hang in there for another week or so. I know you must be terribly homesick...”

Doctor Lara smiled sympathetically. “We’d best head down to one of the rooms and start now, the quicker we get this over and done with the quicker you’ll be able to go home.”

The patient in question swallowed a sob and nodded.

“Dad?” Eren tried. “We can go with him, right?”

“I’m going as his Doctor, which means one additional person can accompany him if Armin wishes.” Grisha lowered his head. “You three will have to decide between you whether it’ll be you that goes or Mikasa, though.”

Eren turned to look at his adoptive sister.

Her eyes softened. “You go, Eren. It should be you.”

“But-“

“You were there for me back then, so you should be there for Armin. I’ll be waiting here for you both to come back, so take care of him for me.”

The green eyed boy turned to look at the blond. He looked like he was trying to give them a smile but couldn’t muster one up in the moment. “I’m okay with that, if you two are.”

“Well then, that’s sorted.” The examiner announced. “Shall we get going?”

She said it like it was a question, though it was more of a statement, because she was already taking the brakes off Armin’s bed and starting to wheel him out the door.

Eren noticed as his best friend held onto the blankets tightly, his knuckles whitening from the vice grip he had on them.

The brunette gently pet the top of his head. “I’m right here, you’re going to be just fine.”

The blue eyed boy tried to offer him a nod, but instead took Eren’s hand from where it was positioned in his hair. He held onto it tightly, as if he believed it was going to sprout legs and run away.

Eren laughed gently. “Go easy on me, I need that hand.”

“I-I’m sorry..” Armin let go but Eren just squeezed back.

“I was only kidding, you’re fine. Crush my hand if you need to.”

“I’m s-scared...”

The brunette’s heart shattered. “I know you are buddy, I’ve got you.”

By the time they made it to the exam room Armin looked like he was having second thoughts. They helped him move from the bed to the exam table, and the blond let out a yelp when his burned hip came into contact with the surface below.

Eren made a point to continue stroking through Armin’s hair, humming one of the lullabies his mother used to sing to them as little kids.

The talk about Armin’s medical history was brief. He’d always been a little frail, but he was healthy.

Doctor Lara donned a pair of gloves and walked over to where Eren was sitting next to Armin. “Okay, I’m going to start by asking you to remove your shirt and I’ll swab those wounds on your neck and shoulders. Let me know if you need me to stop at any time.”

The blonde nodded, this was the easy part. Although removing his hospital issued shirt proved to be difficult with his cast and sling in the way, the small boy managed.

Eren had been given strict instructions not to touch Armin in the areas they’d need to sample, so he couldn’t very well assist his friend in undressing.

The doctor ran a few cotton swabs over the bite marks that spotted the blond’s neck, and promptly sealed them in plastic bags.

The undersides of Armin’s fingernails were also scraped for evidence, and his hair was combed.

Eren worried for a second that maybe he shouldn’t have been stroking through the boy’s blond locks like he did, but quickly dismissed the thought.

Once she was done, the Doctor allowed him to redress. The green eyed boy gave his friend a moment of praise.

Next was the inside of Armin’s mouth, it was poked and prodded for traces of foreign bodily fluids.

Eren noticed a look of discomfort on the boy’s face at this and gave his hand another comforting squeeze.

“There are a couple of cuts at the back of his throat, but it’s nothing serious. It’ll heal on its own.” Doctor Lara announced as she sealed the slightly bloody swab into another plastic bag. “He can have a drink of water now if he’d like.”

Armin gulped the small cup down greedily, having been forbidden from rinsing his mouth of any evidence beforehand, he must have been thirsty.

“You’re doing so well, I’m proud of you.” The taller boy patted his shoulder, and instantly regretted it, as it caused his friend to wince.

Maybe he should stick to holding his hand and stroking his face.

“Okay, that’s all taken care of. I’m not going to look ‘there’ just yet, but I’m going to need to get those pants off you so I can take a look at your thighs and hips.” The Doctor informed.

Eren heard Armin’s breath catch in his throat. This wasn’t _fair_.

_None of this was fair._

Subjecting Armin to an intimate and personal exam like this so soon after his assault wasn’t fair. The fact that Armin was assaulted in the first place wasn’t fair.

“O-Okay...” The blond agreed weakly after a few moments.

The examiner shucked his pants off of his hips, and lifted the blanket so that only the areas she was examining were uncovered.

The small boy nearly leaped off the table when her hands made contact with his inner thighs. Eren held him tightly.

The green eyed boy couldn’t see too well from his current angle, but the mess of blood, both dried and wet, that coated between Armin’s legs was horrific.

 _‘I’m gonna puke.’_ He thought.

It felt like hours had passed, with his best friend whimpering beneath him and countless samples and swabs being tucked into plastic bags, Eren lost track of time.

He wasn’t sure if he should look. He wanted to respect Armin’s privacy but he couldn’t help the itching, desperate desire to know about the state he was in.

He gave in and leaned over the blond boy slightly, trying to get a better look at what the Doctor was dealing with.

Red. That was the blunt of what he saw. He assumed the examiner had finished swabbing his thighs, because she was mopping up a lot of the mess with a wet cloth.

The cloth was red, the inside of Armin’s thighs were an orangey-yellow with the colour of diluted crimson blood.

And upon closer inspection, those were definitely handprint shaped bruises on his hips.

The Doctor was finishing up with this area. Eren knew that the only thing left to examine now was the area that received the blunt of Armin’s abuse.

“Armin, I’m going to move onto the rectal exam now. I’ll be as quick and gentle as I can. Let me know if you need me to stop.”

The blond’s eyes were squeezed shut, his grip on the brunette’s hand stronger than anything Eren had ever felt.

He sounded like he was trying to say something. “D-Don’t hurt me... p-please..”

The tears that were threatening to fall for the entirety of the exam finally did. And Armin sobbed in earnest.

Eren leaned down and kissed him gently on the forehead, shushing him.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to move your legs into these stirrups now, okay?”

He nodded, turning his head to the side and squeezing his pillow.

The brunette continued his futile attempts to sooth Armin, no shushing or humming could seem to calm the boy now.

“Hey, Ar..” Eren spoke softly as the blond’s legs were spread and the Doctor started her exam. “After this, when you’re feeling better... I’m going to take you to the ocean. The five of us will go together, we can be a family again. And you won’t have to remember any of this ever again...”

The smaller boy dared to open his eyes to meet Eren’s. “Th-That.. sounds nice...”

“You can collect all the shells you want, and I promise I won’t complain about all the space they take up in our house.”

Eren smiled. Armin had always had a thing for little trinkets that could be found on the beach. Their shared room at home was cluttered with the damn things. It was one of the only things that Eren could still bring himself to look at after the boy went missing.

Armin smiled weakly. “I think... I might have enough- Agh!” The blond jerked away from the source of the sudden pain between his legs and let out a cry.

The examiner had touched his hole with a swab by the looks of things, as she was busy sealing yet another blood soaked cotton stick away in plastic when Eren looked up to see what had caused Armin the discomfort.

“I’m sorry Armin, I’ve got all the swabs I need from the outside.” Eren watched with his heart in his throat as the Doctor took a packet of lubricant from one of the drawers. “I’m going to need to insert my finger to check for damage, and then I’ll take an internal swab.”

The blond sniffled and shook his head back and forth. “N-No... No... Stop it.. I-I can’t.. I-“

Doctor Lara took a step back.

“Hey...” The green eyed boy stroked his cheek gently. “Easy.. Deep breaths..”

“I-I’m sorry... I don’t think I c-can do i-it..”

“You’ve got this.. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere...”

Armin shook his head again. “I-It’s going to h-hurt.”

The Doctor interrupted. “I’ve upped your morphine dose and I’m using analgesic lubricant. They’ll kick in soon and the pain will barely be there.” She offered him a smile. “I promise I’m not going to hurt you.”

The blond took a couple minutes to recollect himself, and no one rushed him.

After a while, he wiped the tears from his eyes. “O-Okay, I’m ready...”

Eren continued to comfort the boy the best he could. Humming, hand holding, anything he could think of to help calm him down.

The Doctor warned Armin and told him to breathe before inserting her finger slowly. He flinched and squeezed Eren’s hand tight.

“I’m sorry, did that hurt?” She stopped.

“A little.... I-It’s okay, just p-please do it quickly..”

Doctor Lara relayed her findings to Eren’s father, who was busy labelling the evidence she had found. “There are three major tears. One at five o’clock, about four and a half inches long. And another two, at one and nine o’clock, between two and three inches long. Countless minor fissures, but it looks like only those three will need to be stitched.”

Armin’s grip suddenly tightened on Eren’s hand and he gasped. “Y-You’re going to s-stitch... up there?”

Grisha turned around and reassured him. “You’ll be either sedated or numbed completely, you won’t feel a thing.”

The blond still looked uneasy, but he kept quiet, most likely in favour of finishing the exam quickly.

“I think I can get away with taking the swab without the speculum, I don’t want to stress him out any further.” The examiner explained to Doctor Jaeger as she withdrew her finger, and the relief that showed on Armin’s face was immediate.

The swab went in and out quickly, and was packaged accordingly.

The Doctor spent a few more minutes cleaning Armin up and applying what looked to be antibiotic numbing cream.

Finally, Armin was covered with the blanket, and the exam was pronounced over.

“I’m so proud of you..” Eren smiled as he stroked the boy’s forehead with his thumb, but the blond was already fast asleep.


	5. Chapter Four

Grisha started rummaging through various drawers as soon as the S.A.F.E examiner had left with the bag full of evidence. “You can go now Eren, go find Mikasa and your mother. They’ll either be in Armin’s room or the cafeteria.”

“Most likely the cafeteria.” He added after checking his silicone fob watch and noticing that it was currently 1:47 PM. He was hungry, so was Eren, both of them having not eaten anything other than light snacks for the past 24 hours. However, Armin’s wounds needing stitching and the task couldn’t wait any longer.

Eren shook his head and frowned. “I want to stay here with Armin, in case he wakes up..” He looked over at the sleeping boy, except this time he didn’t have such a peaceful expression as his dozed.

“You can’t. This is technically surgery, you could get me in trouble.” The Doctor waved his now gloved hand dismissively. “And besides, he’s not going to wake up. Not until this is over.” Eren’s father syringed a milky white liquid into the cannula in Armin’s vein. Anaesthesia, he supposed.

Eren had always been a stubborn kid though, and neither of them expected him to stop there and obey his father’s instructions. “You want me to be a Doctor, don’t you? Let me stay and I’ll watch and learn.”

He wasn’t particularly ecstatic at the thought of observing what his father was going to do to Armin, but he would do anything if it meant he could stay by his side. Even if the blond didn’t know he was there.

Grisha breathed out a sigh of defeat. “Fine, but stay over there near his head. You’re not watching this.”

 _‘Strange.’_ The green eyed boy thought to himself. His father had made him observe all sorts of medical practices when he was far younger than this, in private areas too, it wasn’t like him to deny Eren an educational opportunity.

Maybe it was because it was Armin on the table, and not some random patient of his.

The Doctor had laid some instruments out on a tray table next to him. What looked to be miscellaneous gauzes and disinfectant wipes, and a pre-threaded needle, amongst other things Eren didn’t want to think about.

“Is he out?” Eren’s father asked him.

Eren pulled back the boy’s eyelids like his dad had taught him. His eyes were lolled back slightly, and moving rapidly.

“He’s out.” He confirmed.

Grisha completely removed the blanket covering Armin and started to sterilise the area. _‘So much for me not watching...’_ Eren mused. Of course, he felt a little stupid when his father replaced the blanket with a clean sheet drape.

_‘Oh.’_

He would never admit it, but Eren was coming to slightly regret his insistence on staying when the Doctor reached for a speculum and started to coat it with lubricant.

The brunette shifted his attention to Armin’s face, placing a hand on his forehead and gently running his fingers through that soft, blond hair. The smaller boy couldn’t feel it, Eren realised, he was doing this to soothe no one but himself.

 _‘Idiot.’_ He scolded himself. _‘You’re not the one who gets to be upset. You don’t need or deserve the comfort that Armin gives you.’_

Even in such a deep sleep, the blond’s face showed some small sign of discomfort as the instrument was inserted. Grabbing hold one of his hands and stroking it gently seemed to combat this, however.

The god forsaken thing was in, and Eren saw Doctor Jaeger’s now bloody fingers reach for the curved suturing needle on the table.

He winced. The emerald eyed boy didn’t envy Armin at all, not one bit, but he would switch places with him in a heartbeat.

But he supposed no one wanted loud and angry teenage boys.

No, Armin was targeted because of how sweet and gentle he was. Because he was soft and feminine, and from behind it didn’t make much difference what was between his legs.

Eren bit back a gag.

Surely his father was almost done, how many stitches did his patient need?!

He watched as his dad suddenly frowned, and the brunette could have sworn his heart stopped. “Wh-What is it?”

It wasn’t like him to stutter, this was pure fear of Eren had ever felt it.

“Go wash your hands and put on some gloves, bring me a pair of tweezers. Under no circumstances should you let them get unsterile, understand?” The Doctor instructed.

Eren was confused, but obeyed his father. When he reached where Grisha was situated between Armin’s spread legs however, he gasped. “I-Is that-“

“Wood splinters.” He confirmed as he took the tweezers from his son and started to remove them carefully. “S.A.F.E must have missed them. I don’t even want to think about how they got in there.”

He wasn’t mistaken after all, those were _definitely_ splinters. It was now that Eren saw for the first time the sheer damage that had been dealt to his best friend.

The two smaller tears had been sutured, evident where the torn skin had been tugged and pulled together, the contrast of white dissolvable thread against angry red tissue. His father was working on the larger one now, and Eren couldn’t pull his eyes away.

Halfway through stitching, the third tear resembled how the other two looked now, neatly closed. Nevertheless, the copious amounts of blood and the widely split skin of the other half was nauseating.

Not to mention the uncomfortable way the speculum was holding Armin open, and in such an unnatural manner. The sight of his insides, visible in all their bloody glory, made Eren sick to his stomach. Maybe he wasn’t cut out to be a Doctor after all.

Either way, he was glad the blond didn’t have to be awake for this.

Eren’s father interrupted his gander. “Go stand back over there, I don’t want you looking at this.”

He didn’t have to be told twice, he made his way back to the head of the table Armin was laying on, still processing what he’d just seen.

A couple minutes later and Doctor Jaeger was removing the speculum. He worked quickly and efficiently, Eren couldn’t fault him for that. The tools were disposed of, and the Doctor removed his gloves.

“Grab some patient clothes from that cupboard and help me dress him, size S- no, XS.”

Such was to be expected, Armin had lost a considerable amount of weight since they last saw him back in March.

The teenager complied, taking a loose shirt and some pants from the shelf. The small blond was shivering in his sleep, and Eren helped cover him quickly, being mindful of his various injuries.

Grisha picked up Armin from the table almost effortlessly, another reminder of his malnourished state. He lifted him into his arms and transferring him back into bed, the sheets of which the S.A.F.E examiner had kindly changed.

The brunette boy tucked the blankets around his best friend, and his shaking seemed to cease.

“You did well, being here with him for all this.” His father praised. “Let’s get him back to his room where he can rest up after all this, and we’ll go get lunch once I know he’s stable.”

Eren could only nod, following him as he wheeled Armin out into the corridors and back into his room, re-hanging his IV bag on the pole and connecting him back up to the monitors.

Carla and Mikasa were napping together on the chair, and the two males were extra careful not to disturb them.

“His body temperature dropped a little, but it’s steadily returning to normal.” Grisha commented. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

The green eyed boy refused his father for what seemed like the tenth time that afternoon. “I’m staying here with him.”

The older man seemed to realise that it was pointless arguing with his son on this, so he left him be.

Eren was going to stay here with Armin the whole time. _That_ he could promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of short, but I’m a little tired today and still wanted to post.


	6. Chapter Five

When Mikasa woke, she immediately noticed that Eren and his parents were nowhere to be found.

Looking around the room, she found that there was a note left on the chair she’d recently snoozed in.

_‘Mikasa,_

_If you wake up and we’re not here, don’t worry yourself. I told Carla that Eren had refused to leave Armin’s side, to the point where he refused to go down to the cafeteria and eat.’_

Upon reading that last line, the raven haired girl quickly looked up from the paper. _‘Armin, of course! How could I fall asleep like that? Someone’s supposed to be watching him!’_

She was relieved to find that the boy was still soundly asleep in his bed. She kept reading.

_‘His mother dragged him down there herself by his ear. She wasn’t having any of it. I told him that you were capable enough to take care of Armin if he woke up while we were gone, and that seemed to satisfy him._

_Call me if anything happens._

_\- Grisha.’_

Mikasa allowed herself a smile. Of course Aunt Carla would do something like that. She was always extremely strict with Eren, and in stark contrast to that, treated Armin and herself like they were angels.

Although, come to think of it, Armin and Mikasa were always much more well behaved than Carla’s biological child.

She was torn from her pointless inner thoughts when the blond in the bed beside her let out a quiet groan. The girl observed watchfully as he blinked open his big blue eyes and turned his head in her direction.

“Mm..kasa... that you?” He inquired groggily.

Just hearing his voice brought a smile to her lips. “Yeah, it’s me. You feeling okay?”

“Can... can you sit me up?” The boy brought his hands up to rub at his eyelids, sticky with sleep. Mikasa noticed that yesterday, he didn’t even have the strength for this habit of his.

She grabbed the remote at his bedside and raised the top half of his bed slowly, adjusting him into a sitting position. Though this was not without a couple groans of pain.

“How are you feeling?” She tried to ask him again.

“Hm? Oh, uh.. It hurts a little bit, it’s a lot better than yesterday. Wait, it is the next day, right?” Mikasa nodded. “What day is it?”

“Saturday, October 18th.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “O-October?” He paused for a moment to process the information. “Same year though, r-right?”

The grey eyed girl hummed in confirmation. “We lost you for about seven and a half months.”

“I didn’t think it was that long... I’m nearly sixteen.”

“How long did you think you’d been gone?” She was curious.

“Maybe about six weeks. I’d convinced myself that time there probably felt longer than it actually was, but I guess I was wrong.”

Mikasa reached into her bag and pulled out Armin’s old phone. “We found this back at the house. I’m guessing you didn’t take it with you, back then.” She lowered her gaze sadly, and then smiled. “You have... 362 messages.”

He took it from her and inspected it, his eyes squinting as he adjusted to the suddenness of the bright screen. She saw him wipe a tear from his cheek. “Hey, what’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing, it’s just...” Armin let out a sound that resembled a laugh mixed with a sob. “The most recent of these messages is only four days old..”

Mikasa listened painfully as Armin played one of the oldest messages, from March 4th. It was from Eren.

_‘Armin, where are you? I know your extra curriculum nerd stuff tends to run late into the afternoon, but it’s seven o’clock dude, you should have been here two hours ago. Call me back, okay?’_

He couldn’t help but scoff at Eren’s brilliant wording of ‘extra curriculum nerd stuff’.

That was the first of many panicked voicemails Armin received that night.

The next one was from Mikasa herself, sent early hours of the morning on March 5th.

_‘Armin, please come home, or at least answer your phone. We’re worried about you. We just need to know you’re safe, so please..’_

The message was cut off when the girl began to sob.

The blond skipped a few weeks, and the messages were still coming in even then.

_‘You’ve been gone for five weeks now, you know that? They’ve declared you a missing person, the police are looking everywhere for you, but you didn’t leave a trace. I just want you to be safe, I’ll see you when I do.’_

Even after months, they didn’t stop.

_‘Hey dude, it’s Connie. We’re all missing you. Me and Sasha went to this new ramen place last week, you’d love it. They’ve got cool art on the walls and stuff, and there’s not too much broth. I know you don’t like your noodles drowned.’_

_‘It’s Reiner. Morning Armin, just tried calling to let you know how much we love you. Marco’s birthday was the other day but none of us felt like celebrating. Counting the days until we can see you again buddy.’_

Armin had to stop listening after a while. He’d been gone for months, and there they were, talking to him with so much hope, that maybe one day he’d be listening. Still, he could hear the sorrow in their voices.

Mikasa had to hold back tears at the memory of it all. The fear that they would never see him again, that he was already dead. “You know, with everything that’s gone on these past couple days we completely forgot to tell the rest of the guys that you’d been found.” She giggled.

The blond smiled. “Don’t tell them. I think.. I’d like to surprise them in person when I get out of here.”

“How are you feeling about all this?” The ebony haired girl fidgeted with the zipper on her jacket. “You know, up here.” She pointed to her head.

Armin breathed a deep sigh. “I’m just happy that it’s all over.. But, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget about what they did to me...”

He gripped the blankets that were settled over his lap, and Mikasa momentarily regretted asking in the first place.

“In hindsight, I’m glad I had that exam, maybe I can help get them put away for their crimes. Still, it wasn’t easy. I feel like I’ll be anxious around Doctors and hospitals now for the rest of my life.” He sighed. “It’s all thanks to Melody that I’m safe and reunited with you now..”

“Melody?”

“One of the girls the gang had taken. She told us one day that they were going to take her out in pubic, she promised us that she would tell someone we were being held here and we’d be saved.” Armin smiled gently. “Melody always kept her promises.”

“She must be a brave girl..” Mikasa mused.

The boy nodded. “She wrote an S.O.S message on her wrist in my blood and hid it with her sleeve, waiting for the perfect opportunity to show it discreetly to a member of the public without our captors noticing. She was extremely diligent.”

When Mikasa didn’t reply, Armin continued. “Sometimes I’d be locked in the same cell as the other girls, it helped, I think their company was the only reason I didn’t go insane.”

The expression on the blond’s face suddenly changed. “They were merchandise, sellable, and in that regard, were never touched.” He idly picked at the bobbles on his blanket. “But still, I’m sure they have no small share of trauma being forced to watch what was done to me, not to mention the girls they actually sold. Some of them were as young as five...”

“I’m sorry...” Mikasa exhaled. Was this the fate she would have been met with had Eren not been there that day when she was nine?

Their depressing thoughts were interrupted when the other three returned. Eren shot straight to Armin’s side.

“You’re awake! I’m so sorry I left you! Mom made me do it!”

Carla rolled her eyes which caused the blue eyed boy to giggle slightly. “You didn’t leave him at all, your father was telling me about how you pestered him to let you stay while he was treating Armin.”

“You’re so stupid..” The smaller boy mused. “I would never have expected you to stay for something gross like that.”

Grisha interrupted them. “Speaking of your treatment, Armin..” The blond gave him his full attention. “The swabs found all the foreign DNA necessary to have your abusers locked up, but it also showed signs of infection in your wounds.”

Armin looked away. “I expected as much. My fresh wounds were constantly exposed to the dirty environment..” It was good to see the boy thinking and using his brain as usual. “Not to mention other things... fluids..”

The realisation hit the boy like a truck. “W-wait, I don’t have any... you know...”

“You’re clean of any sexually transmitted diseases.” The Doctor assured. “I’ll set you up with a course of antibiotics and you should be fine, it’s nothing too serious as long as you take the right medicine.”

“Right, thank you Doctor Jaeger.”

Despite their attempts, Eren’s parents had never been able to get Armin or Mikasa to drop their formalities around them. None of them seemed to mind it, though.

Carla was Aunt Carla, and Grisha was Doctor Jaeger. That’s how it had always been to them.

Carla sat at the foot of the boy’s bed, striking up conversation. “I see you found your phone.”

The small patient smiled at his foster mother and nodded, going off on one of his tangents like always.

Mikasa couldn’t hold back her tears this time. The five of them were here, catching up on months of lost family time. She had a home in them. She loved them so much.

Armin was finally back where he belonged.

“Right.” Carla clasped her hands together. “I need to head back home with Grisha real quick and pick up some essentials. Is there anything from home you’d like me to fetch you, Armin?”

He looked like he was deep in thought for a couple of seconds before speaking up. “My futon? And maybe some snacks, only if they adhere to my dietary restrictions of course. I just miss eating good food.”

“What did you usually eat?” Eren proposed.

“Stale bread.”

The green eyed boy grimaced sympathetically.

“Oh, and maybe a couple of books?” The blond requested.

Carla patted his head gently. “You’ve read every book in the house, some more than once. I’ll stop off at the bookstore and buy you some new ones, you deserve it.”

Armin’s face lit up. “R-Really?”

“Of course.” She smiled at him.

Of course, the sarcastic Eren was there to ruin the moment. “Do you even remember how to read?”

The blond shot him an unamused glare, causing the brunette to laugh. “Alright, I’m kidding.”

Eren’s parents were getting ready to leave, grabbing a couple of bags and their car keys.

“I’ll see you kids later, look after him okay?” Eren’s father beamed as he was half way out the door.

Eren and Mikasa responded in unison. “Okay.”

And then there were three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in a writing mood today so here’s an extra chapter that wasn’t supposed to be posted until tomorrow. I feel like i rely on dialogue too heavily. Maybe next chapter I’ll try writing with minimal dialogue.


	7. Chapter Six

Armin was never the type of person to cast away his manners when he was having a hard time.

Still, he was having trouble remaining polite when his nurse disturbed him from sleep for what seemed like the tenth time in two hours to perform her observations, he was considering the consequences of asking her to leave him alone.

He was tired, and in pain, and he wanted more than anything to curl up in bed and doze off to the sound of Eren and Mikasa whispering sweet nothings above his ear.

Armin had always been an awkward boy, but _nothing_ compares to the uncomfortable thirty second silence as a nurse counts your breathing. Pretending to be asleep the whole time and letting them examine your limp limbs was preferable to that.

More than anything though, his body ached terribly. A deep pain that radiated throughout his entire being and burned brighter in specific areas. There was nothing he could do as he watched the saline from the hanging bag drip into the tube connected to his vein.

The blond felt so _helpless_. His useless, broken body had betrayed him yet again. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t even go to the bathroom by himself. Machines and tubes and drugs did for him what he couldn’t manage alone.

Drinking was difficult. Talking was effort. Shifting in bed was near impossible. Even breathing was a chore.

In more ways than one, Armin was completely exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to curl up at home on the couch with Eren and Mikasa, and sleep for as many days as he could.

Blue eyes looked to his left and up, to see his nurse removing the still full bag of morphine from his IV pole, disconnecting it from the port in his vein. “Wh-What are you doing? It’s not empty yet.”

The nurse continued what she was doing and smiled. “We’re changing your medicine from IV morphine to Oramorph.”

Wait, no. Why would they do that? He was still hurting. Didn’t they know? “W-Wait. That’s not _nearly_ as strong a dose..”

“I know. You can’t be hooked to an IV forever, we’re going to gradually lower the dose of painkillers until you’re off them completely.” She replied.

“P-Please don’t! I only had surgery a couple of days ago, I’m still in a lot of pain!” The blond couldn’t help the panicked tears that came to his eyes.

And it wasn’t a lie. He was hurting so much.

His previously shattered forearm throbbed from the extensive bruising and the still healing bones. The whip marks on his back and legs stung sharply every time he tried to toss or turn. His right shoulder that still ached from it’s previous dislocation.

The white hot scorched skin on his right hip, that felt like it was bubbling and blistering. He could feel every line and detail in the brand’s design, and they pulsed painfully in unison.

And the most recently stitched area between his legs, that sent shocking surges of agony up into his abdomen. The still bleeding minor fissures that felt like a million paper cuts at once, razor sharp and unbelievably sore.

The sound of Armin in distress stirred Eren and Mikasa from their drowsy half-sleep. “What’s the matter? What’s going on?”

The nurse explained her duty here, and there wasn’t much the three young people could do about the situation upon learning that they were direct orders from his Doctor.

The small boy rolled over in bed and let out a whimper as she left the room with what in his eyes was his lifeline. He could only dread the amplification of the pain that was sure to come once the IV medicine had worn off.

“You okay buddy?” Eren tried, and the blond felt him rubbing his arm sympathetically through the blankets.

Armin wiped his face, wet with tears, on the pillow underneath him. He allowed himself to be honest with them, and shook his head. “It hurts...” He sniffled. “It hurts so bad... Eren, it’s painful... It’s so _painful_..”

The smaller boy couldn’t see his two best friend’s reaction, his eyesight blurred with tears. He took Eren’s hand from where it was resting on his shoulder and squeezed, hard. Pulling it closer to his face with both hands, he sobbed pathetically, as if it would do anything to soothe his agony.

Watching as Mikasa walked around his bed and appeared at the other side of him, and leaning into her touch as she cupped his cheek with her hand, he allowed himself to confide in them and their comfort.

He just wanted to be enveloped in their love completely, to be sat across both of their laps as they surrounded either side of him, holding him tightly and shielding him from anything and everything that would hurt him.

Moving into that position would be excruciating, however. Did he care? The blond wasn’t so sure anymore.

Did he really care about anything anymore? Did life have anything more to offer him that wasn’t pain, humiliation, or regret? After what had been done to him, was life still as beautiful as he once thought it to be?

Ocean blue eyes blinked away tear after tear.

Yes, Armin was finally realising his grief.

His pain, his trauma and abuse, all of it.

Everything that Armin had forgotten in the blinding glow of finally seeing his family again, was finally emerging from the shadows of his mind, and coming back to torment him.

And so, he wailed. He wailed and he screamed and he cried into Eren’s hand loudly, and without restraint. Gripping it with all his worth, he didn’t stop.

The feelings that had been tearing him up from the inside, he let them go. The inner peril from the memories and horrible events of it all, he squealed all of them out into the bleak and cold atmosphere of the room.

Mikasa didn’t say anything, neither did Eren. They sat with him in silence and without judgment as he poured his heart out to the both of them.

Armin had never felt an emotion so pure and raw, and lacking in suppression. It vehemently filled his head and his chest with fiery, heavy intensity.

After what seemed like a never ending eternity, his consuming sorrow and anguish died down into mournful whines, until he was left with nothing but the disquieted hiccups of the aftermath.

It was _over_ , it was _done_. The blonde knew he needed to move on or he would never be able to. _Nothing_ , not a _thing_ , could change what had already happened.

Perhaps it was the hopelessness of it all and his powerlessness to change the past that caused him so much heartache.

He put a stop to his brooding chain of thought, and instead focused on the people surrounding him. The people he loved and revered _so_ much.

Mikasa was humming a tranquil tune delicately into his ear from behind him, and Eren had taken his hand back to stroke through the boy’s blond hair tenderly.

Armin would suffer, and every time Eren and Mikasa would be there to pick up the pieces.

————————————

None of them talked about Armin’s episode once it was over.

For the past few days they’d all secretly been lying in wait, knowing that eventually his emotions would spill over and he’d have no choice but to let them out.

Eren and Mikasa didn’t leave his side, talking to him about random nonsensical things that the blond wasn’t paying attention to too closely. He instead just listened to their voices, as apposed to comprehending the individual words and sentences.

He dabbed the wetness from his blue eyes with a tissue, as well as the tears and snot that covered his flushed face. He felt disgusting, especially now.

“Do you want to take a bath?”

The question came from Eren, and Armin thought for a second that he must be joking. The idea of a nice, warm bath to cleanse him of all the blood, sweat and tears on his body sounded too good to be true.

The blue eyed boy tucked a strand of his golden blond hair behind his ear. “A bath?”

A bath _did_ sound good, but Armin had no idea how they were planning on getting him into the bathroom. Sure, it was only a few metres down the hall, but he hadn’t even tried standing on his own since he was admitted here, let alone walking.

As if reading his mind, Mikasa spoke up. “I can carry you.” The blond boy smiled, he didn’t doubt that she could.

_‘Would Doctor Jaeger be angry with him for leaving his bed and doing something without asking him first? Would they get into trouble for this?’_

Whatever, Armin would take the scolding later if there was a problem, he wanted a bath and he wanted one _right_ now. “Okay, let’s go.”

He adjusted himself into a position where Mikasa could easier lift him into her arms. The raven haired girl scooped him up and held him close to her chest.

The blond winced, the significant increase in pain since his morphine dose was lowered had not gone unnoticed. Rather, it was making itself very clear as his body was shifted around.

Eren interrupted. “Wait, are you sure you want to do this? It was just a suggestion.”

Armin shook his head. “Please, I really need this..”

The brunette didn’t argue any further, instead committing himself to the task of grabbing the IV pole and other things that needed to come with his friend.

After a short walk down the hall, Mikasa set Armin down gently on a stool and locked the door behind them.

The bathroom was spacious, and made to be easily accessible for multiple people should a patient be a unable to bathe on their own. Such was the case with the blond boy, and he felt the expectant gaze of his two friends locked on him.

His face flushed a deep red. “C-Can you help me... get my clothes off?” Armin wasn’t usually shy or embarrassed about this kind of thing around Eren and Mikasa. They’d grown up together. As young kids, they would bathe and get dressed together all the time. Modesty was never really something to be considered important amongst those three.

But the smaller boy was getting tired of constantly being tended to by other people, being the centre of attention as he was examined and treated and comforted.

He closed his eyes. He heard the sound of water running, and before he knew it, Mikasa was helping him get his shirt over his head. Eren got to work on removing his pants, and as much as he hated to admit it, Armin felt no small degree of shame as they did.

It shouldn’t be like this, those three were inseparable, each of them part of each other in some way or another. Embarrassment was something that should never be exchanged between them. Armin should only feel a sense of trust and understanding when in their presence.

The blond didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t want to look down at his naked, battered body. But he did, and he immediately jumped back, startled.

Mikasa caught him before he fell off the stool, and Eren rushed over. Kneeling in front of him, hands hovering over his body, he gasped. “Armin! What’s the matter?!”

Armin averted his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. “I-It’s nothing, it’s just...” The boy’s face burned crimson. “Th-That... It freaked me out a little..” He vaguely gestured downwards to where the catheter had been inserted.

“Oh..” The brunette sighed, seemingly relieved. “I’ll talk to my dad about getting it removed if it’s bothering you, okay? I can help you go to the bathroom instead.”

 _‘No.’_ Armin wanted to say. _‘I don’t want to feel like some helpless incapacitated baby. Don’t you think you’ve seen me in enough humiliating positions?’_

“Come on.” Mikasa’s soft voice interrupted his thoughts. “Water’s ready.”

The blond put his hands on his knees, his legs were trembling and he didn’t know why. “W-Wait..” He tried. “You two get in with me, please?”

Eren carefully helped lift Armin into the bathtub. The smaller of the two wincing slightly as his backside came into contact with the tub floor. “We’re not exactly nine anymore, I don’t think we’d all fit. Why?”

The blue eyed boy hugged his knees to his chest, mindful of the cast of his left arm, and ensuring it didn’t get wet. “Because... I’m tired of being the only person who’s not wearing clothes all the time...” He pouted, his face flushed a deeper shade of pink.

Mikasa started to strip, and Eren followed shortly after. “We’re not going to get in the bath with you, frankly I think it’ll be a little cramped, but we’ll take a shower in here so you’re not alone.” The raven haired girl smiled at him as she removed her bra.

Armin shouldn’t look, but god knows what parts of his damaged body Mikasa and Eren had seen, it was only fair that he got a peak here and there too.

The girls breasts weren’t outrageously big, but they weren’t too small either. They were a perfect size, round and plump, and with all Armin’s not so subtle ogling at her chest, he’d almost forgotten that Mikasa also had a beautiful eight pack of rather defined abs.

He turned his attention to Eren, the brunette had always been more gifted than him in terms of general size, whether it be their height or weight, but Armin didn’t remember his best friend being that large _down there_. He sulked in mock jealousy.

“Enjoying the view?” The green eyed boy laughed, and the blond quickly averted his eyes and feigned confidence.

“Sh-Shut up! You were right between my legs yesterday, I’m sure you’ve seen a lot more of me than I have of you!” He buried his face in his knees.

Eren kneeled beside the tub, his hair and body dripping from having been stood under the shower. He picked up a small bucket and filled it with warm water before pouring it gently over Armin’s head and running his fingers though his hair. “Is that still bothering you?” He asked genuinely, and the blond was taken aback by it all.

In that moment, Mikasa also took it upon herself to sit on the edge of the bathtub, her nude thighs and ass right there for anyone to see.

For a girl, she never really made a big deal about privacy around those two.

“You don’t need to be ashamed Armin, we love you. All we want is for you to recover and one day be happy again...” She smiled at him before standing back up and kneeling over the edge of the tub beside him, grabbing a soapy sponge and washing down the blond’s chest and arms for him. Eren grabbed a wash cloth and helped sponge down Armin’s hips and legs.

The smallest of the three giggled, half sad, half amused. “Are you saying there’s nothing embarrassing about needing my two friends to help me take a bath?”

“That’s exactly what she’s saying. You’d do the same for us if we needed it.” The green eyed boy hummed as he scrubbed a stubborn patch of dried blood between the blond’s thighs.

Of course he would. If Eren or Mikasa were in his situation right now he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to help them with anything, _and he meant anything_ , they need. But Eren and Mikasa weren’t weak like him, that’s why they weren’t in his situation. He was always the one who needed saving, needed to be taken care of.

Because Eren and Mikasa were strong.

_Because Armin was weak._

That’s why he was so ashamed. Not at his nudity, but at his own weakness.

The blond was ripped from his self deprecating contemplation when he heard Eren ask something. “Can you open your legs a little bit? I wanna clean up the rest of the blood.”

Armin paled, dragging his knees up to his chest and curling into a ball so quickly that it hurt. He shook his head rapidly. “N-No... Don’t touch m-me there...” He choked.

The brunette backed away, realising it was better to give up now than try to convince his friend to let him help. Armin was vulnerable, and he didn’t want to hurt him or abuse his trust.

Mikasa lifted the blond boy out of the tub and dried him off, giving him a gently kiss on the forehead to help calm what Eren had just roused. “Eren, go fetch him a fresh set of clothes. But please, put yours back on first.”

The emerald eyed boy nodded and quickly redressed, leaving the bathroom with his friend’s dirty hospital clothes in hand.

“Lay down on your stomach for me?” The grey eyed girl proposed as she rummaged around in a bag.

Armin was skeptical, but obeyed. “Wh-What are you doing?” He stuttered. He was frightened, laying naked with his ass up never usually led to good things.

“I’m just changing that bandage on your burn wound.” She reassured him with another smile. The blond felt himself relax as the now clothed girl got to work on doing as she’d said.

It stung a little, but the bath had indeed done some good to help soothe his sore wounds. He could still feel the dried blood between his cheeks, the place he felt the most dirty, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to allow anyone to clean back there.

Mikasa had finished bandaging a moment ago, but they were both just sitting in silence. Armin tried to get up, but she gently pushed him back into a laying position. “M-Mikasa?”

“Let me clean your wounds.” The girl suggested. The blond’s first response was to shake his head, but she stopped him. “You have an infection, Armin. You can’t let blood and grime build up like this.”

He knew this. Still, that didn’t change how much he didn’t want anyone looking or touching him in that area. Upon realisation that Armin wasn’t going to reply, Mikasa tried again. “I’ll be gentle, I promise you that on my life. But you’re going to get really sick if we don’t get this taken care of.”

Armin weighed his options for a few moments. He could be subjected to a painful and humiliating experience with Mikasa now, or he could wait until he made himself ill and would need the help of Doctors or Surgeons. Thinking it over really made the black haired girl’s offer sound like the much better route. So he nodded his head defeatedly. “A-Alright, please be gentle.”

In truth, it didn’t even end up taking five minutes. Mikasa did what she had to quickly and efficiently, leaving Armin wondering what the hell he’d gotten so worked up over in the first place. It didn’t hurt too badly either, and the blond felt so much better and cleaner afterwards.

She and Eren helped redress him before carrying him back to his room. The girl was about to set Armin down in his bed before he stopped her.

“I think I just want to c-cuddle on the couch with you t-two instead, i-is that okay?”

Both of his best friends beamed at him.

“Of course that’s okay...”

And so Armin was gently set down in the middle of the couch, Eren to his left, Mikasa to his right. The snuggled closely to him, enveloping him in warmth and love.

As he lay there covered in blankets, with both his friends arms tightly around him, feeling fresher than he’d ever felt, he breathed a deep, deep sigh.

For the first time in months, it was the happy kind of sigh.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains an instance of non consensual medical examination towards the end.

Eren didn’t sleep like the other two. No, he’d convinced himself for some stupid, self righteous reason that it was his job to remain awake and watch over his friends as they snoozed. Almost as if the blond boy would be attacked again in his hospital room of all places.

Did he feel responsible for what happened to Armin? Of course he did. Not a day went by where he wasn’t reminded of the way he told Armin he would ‘see him later’ after school on that fateful day in early March.

He should have stayed with him. Everyday he cursed himself for leaving. Why did he leave? Would it have killed him just to sit in the library with Armin for a couple hours?

Unlike the incident with Mikasa, Eren’s anger wasn’t directed towards Armin’s attackers. No, it was directed towards himself.

The brunette squeezed his injured friend’s hand tighter.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Eren the way the blond would make pained noises, his face contorting in discomfort in his sleep, and the way the boy would sometimes begin to tremble for no reason.

The nurse would check Armin’s temperature bi-hourly. He wasn’t cold, in fact he was rather warm due to his infected injuries. There was another reason for his body’s shaking, and Eren could only guess it was fear and pain.

Considering the circumstances, the smaller boy was handling his pain rather well after being transferred to oral medication. Perhaps it was the treatment his father gave him that was making his wounds feel better. Armin was able to sit up and be transferred to the bathroom so he could wash up, and even then he didn’t protest too strongly.

No, Eren was getting too optimistic. The blond always downplayed his injuries, ever since he was a little kid. He had to consider the very likely possibility that Armin was hurting a lot more than he was letting on.

The green eyed teenager heard Mikasa rousing from her nap across from him. She rubbed the sleep from her tired eyes. When was the last time any of them had experienced a full nights sleep? They’d been running on nothing but power naps since they got here, Eren even less so.

“He still asleep?” The girl asked drowsily.

Eren nodded. “That’s all he does most of the time, he’s been through a lot, he needs a lot of rest to repair all the damage dealt to his body...”

Wasn’t that the truth, the taller boy couldn’t even begin to imagine how tired Armin was with this entire healing process.

“Mom texted me a few minutes ago, said they should be back soon. I told them we managed to get him out of bed like Dad told us.” Mikasa nodded in understanding as he spoke.

Eren chuckled as he continued. “Mom said she might have gone overboard at the bookstore, you know how she is.” This earned an amused sigh from the dark haired girl.

“I think Armin’s always secretly been her favourite.” She mused.

“Don’t I know it...”

They sat their in content silence for a short while, watching their friend as he slept. Armin suddenly and quickly woke up, and it wasn’t until he had that the brunette noticed his parents were back.

Weird, the blond had been sound asleep and yet he noticed someone outside the door before Eren and Mikasa did.

“おかえり。” Mikasa greeted them as got up from her seat and assisted Carla in unpacking the things she’d brought.

Despite having been living with the Jaegers for almost seven years, there were still some Japanese customs that she couldn’t seem to break the habit of using. Everyone was glad for it though, her culture was a part of her and no one wished for her to discard it simply because she was no longer living in Asia.

Eren watched protectively as his smaller friend beside him blinked his round, blue eyes open. “Ah, hello Aunt Carla, Doctor Jaeger.” He welcomed them back groggily.

“Hello Armin. I see you got out of bed, that’s great news.” The Doctor praised him.

“Um, yeah.. l took a bath.. Y-You’re not mad?” The small blond seemed unconvinced, which Eren thought was rather strange. Why would they be mad?

His father answered that question for him though. “Of course I’m not mad, regaining mobility is an important step in your recovery. How are you handling the change in dose for your pain relief?”

Armin nodded subtly. “Y-Yeah, I think I’ll be okay without the IV..”

Eren gently ruffled his blond hair. When had he gotten so anxious and shy when it came to talking to his family? The boy hardly ever spoke to them with confidence anymore, and it was hard to listen to.

Carla interrupted his brooding by holding a large shopping bag up in front of them.

“Right, I may have bought a little too much...” Her biological son peered into the bag that was filled to the brim with books. _‘You think?’_ “But, these should keep you occupied for a couple of weeks at least.” A couple of weeks? It would take Eren months just to finish one of those.

Watching Armin’s face light up was a wonderful sight indeed, he wished he could capture that sight and save it forever. “I know you like adventure and fantasy, so I tried to find some like that..”

The blond eagerly tried to take the bag from her, but upon noticing it’s sheer weight, quickly handed it back and instead settled for picking one off the top of the heap. “Th-Thank you! You didn’t have to do all this...” He smiled sheepishly.

“Nonsense..” Carla brushed off his polite theatrics. “If there are any there you’ve already read then let me know and I can get them exchanged, okay?”

Armin shook his head. “They’re all pretty recent releases so... Wow, I haven’t even heard of these. Who knew this author had another book out?”

Of course, the boy had been locked away from the outside world for months upon months. He wouldn’t know a thing about luxuries like new books. From current world news to new releases from his favourite authors, the blond had been completely unaware.

Grisha spoke up as bright blue eyes scanned the various pages he’d began flipping through. “Armin, have you tried walking today?”

The patient looked up from where he was engrossed in his reading. “Uh, no... Mikasa carried me..” He confessed, and Eren didn’t miss the look of shame that had replaced his joy and excitement from the books.

 _‘Dammit Dad, he was just perking up too. You and your Doctor bullshit..’_ Maybe the green eyed boy was being a brat, but he wished his father would stop ruining Armin’s mood with his medical jargon.

“I’m hoping to discharge you within the next couple of days, since you seem homesick and eager to go home.” The blond’s eyes lit up with hope when his father mentioned home. “So I was hoping you could try walking around some.”

Eren noticed as his friend seemed to recoil with unease. “W-Walking? Are you sure?”

“If it’s painful or uncomfortable for you in any way then we can stop and try another day, but unfortunately the longer you wait the longer you’ll be hospitalised.” The taller boy felt sorry for his dad, as his Doctor, he always had to play the bad guy in order to help Armin.

“What if my insides fall out?” The brunette couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped him, and the blond seemed offended, since his question was genuine.

Grisha reassured him. “Armin, you have lacerations and burns, not a prolapse.”

The smaller boy next to him settled his nerves tried to stand on his own, and Eren had to catch him before he toppled over. Maybe the idea of going home had motivated him a little too much.

“Easy! Stand with my support first!” He felt guilty for yelling when his friend started blurting rushed apologies.

He supported the majority of Armin’s weight as he attempted to stand again, Mikasa and his parents watching anxiously. The wounded boy’s petite body shook significantly, especially his legs, and he threw his arms around Eren’s neck, holding onto him tightly. A whine of pain escaped his lips.

“I-I don’t think I can do it yet..” He whimpered as Eren picked him up and set him down on the bed.

The taller of the two ran his fingers through Armin’s soft bangs tenderly. “That’s okay, don’t push yourself. We can always try again tomorrow...” The discouraged look on his best friends face was miserable to look at, and Mikasa took it upon herself in that moment to lay Armin’s futon over top of him, distracting him from his grief.

“How’s that? Just as special as you remember it?” The girl inquired as she tucked the edges of the blanket around him. She received a pleased hum of affirmation in response, seemed like he was getting tired again. The poor boy had only been awake for half an hour, maybe his attempt at walking took the energy out of him.

“Before you go back to sleep Armin...” Grisha drew the privacy curtains around his bed. “I’d like to check and see how your wounds are healing.”

Armin pulled his futon around him protectively. “A-All of them?”

The Doctor nodded. “I need to check for signs of infection or other problems that may have aroused.”

Eren heard the boy bite back a sob underneath him. His mother and Mikasa had excused themselves to give Armin some privacy and the green eyed boy wondered if he should leave him with his father and do the same. “You want me to leave you alone?” He frowned.

The blond shook his head. He guessed he was staying after all. The brunette assisted his friend in removing his shirt so Doctor Jaeger could check under the bandages on his neck and chest, and his young patient squirmed uncomfortably under the scrutiny.

He had Armin sit up and turn around so he could examine his back, and Eren noticed the look of dismay on his face. The taller of the two rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, and he wasn’t sure whether or not the sigh he got in response was of good or bad nature.

The brunette watched as Armin became flustered when the time came for him to remove his pants. “Roll onto your left side so I can take a look at this burn, okay?” Grisha instructed, and the younger male complied.

Eren winced almost as much as he did, the injured area on his right hip looked sore, especially when Doctor Jaeger peeled away the sticky bandages, slightly pink with blood, and replaced them with new ones after taking a look and ensuring he was healing well.

“The brand looks a lot less pronounced than when I last saw it.” The brunette boy announced in an attempt to cheer his friend up, but the blond knew what was coming next, and his comment went ignored.

The smaller boy pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, before he let out a deep sigh. “Do you have to?” His voice came out in dejected whines. “I would tell if you something was wrong, I promise.”

Grisha’s gaze and voice softened. “I know you would buddy, but there’s a chance that something could be wrong without you noticing, so I need to have a look...”

Armin made a choked sound of perturbation. Eren could see the way his face was flushed a dark pink, despite his attempts to hide it in his knees.

This wasn’t fair, and the green eyed boy felt his anger at himself surge. His father was dutiful, Armin was avoidant, and he was caught somewhere in between.

Part of him wanted his dad to just forget this part and leave the blond alone, the other part of him knew that the importance of his health was absolute. He didn’t know what to do.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all his fault, his entire fault, and no one else’s. That Armin wouldn’t be going through what he was going through if Eren hadn’t left him alone that day.

His father looked like he was expecting some kind of encouragement or persuasion from him. _‘Don’t look at me, I’m not your nurse. Coercing my best friend into doing something he’s terrified and humiliated by isn’t my damn job.’_ He mused bitterly.

He exhaled after a while, realising that this wasn’t getting them anywhere. _‘Fine, but don’t even think about subjecting him to this again anytime soon.’_ Eren agitatedly laid his best friend down and hooked his forearm under his knees, pulling them up to his chest and exposing his arse. There wasn’t much Armin could do in protest with his limited strength.

“W-Wait.. Eren, stop. Please stop, let me go, please..” The blond’s words came out in panicked whimpers, and Eren had to try to drown them out in favour of his sanity. Closing his eyes, he could only hear the sound of his father pulling on a pair of gloves and the squelch of lubricant.

“No, don’t... Please, don’t touch me.. Stop it! Don’t touch me!” Armin was struggling underneath his grasp. His whines turned to full on screams when a gloved finger penetrated him. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Stop, please, take it out!”

Eren watched his father pause in his tracks for a few moments, before quickly withdrawing from the situation, discarding his gloves and wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. _‘Hold on, is he crying?’_

“Enough, I can’t do this to him. I’ll go get another Doctor.” He promptly left the room.

Of course Eren understood, he wouldn’t be able to do that with Armin crying and begging him to stop directly underneath him either. But his dad was a Doctor, he’d announced the death of people’s relatives before, he’d given all sorts of bad news, done all sorts of sensitive procedures and exams.

This was his job, and the green eyed boy felt a pang of frustration with his father for not finishing what he started. Armin wouldn’t need to endure the touch of a Doctor he didn’t know if he’d have just done his damn job.

Eren felt like his entire family was falling apart, being torn to shreds by the cruelty of the situation.

The brunette released his grip on the blond boy, who instantly sunk down into the bed underneath him, and cried in earnest.

Another Doctor emerged through the door, and Eren realised he would have to do this all over again.

Armin didn’t react like that this time though. In fact, he didn’t react at all. His eyes stared straight up at something that wasn’t there, his far-away expression unchanging and his body unmoving. Emerald eyes changed focus from his friends face to the Doctors. “He’s not moving- Hey, is he okay?!”

The Doctor nodded and continued checking the boy’s internal wounds. “It’s most likely shock or trauma induced catatonia.” 

The teen frowned and grasped the blond’s hand tightly. “He’s gonna be okay, right?” 

The older male nodded again. “He should come back to us soon, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour. Let someone know immediately if something happens.” 

“Nothing abnormal that I can see besides the infection and the fissures. He’s healing fine.” The Doctor finished up and left the room, and Eren had nothing else to look at but Armin’s blank face.

He was glad the blond was okay, of course he was. However, he couldn’t help but feel gutted at the thought that all of that had been for nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes: ‘おかえり’ is a japanese greeting used to welcome someone back.
> 
> Armin was temporarily in a state of shock induced catatonia in episode five so I thought I would make a reference to that.
> 
> Thank you for 100+ Kudos!


	9. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This is a flashback chapter, meaning that Armin’s assault is written in detail and not just referenced. Homophobic language is also briefly mentioned.

_Armin woke up in an unfamiliar room. He was cold, and it was too dark to see much that was going on. His hands were tied behind his back._

_His head hurt, how did he end up here? He was just on his way back from school and then..._

_Oh._

_This wasn’t good._

_The blond vaguely remembered what he was doing the last time he was conscious. He recalled trying to cross the street to avoid the small group of men he saw in the ally, dressed in dark clothing. Armin didn’t like to assume people’s business based on appearance, but he also didn’t want to take the risk of possibly being mugged._

_It wasn’t as if he had anything worth stealing on him in the first place, his phone had been left at home after he accidentally forgot to charge it for school. Still, they didn’t know that._

_He could only make out a fist coming into contact with his skull before passing out._

_This really wasn’t good, what had he gotten himself into? Where was he? Where were the men he’d seen earlier?_

_Armin regretted wondering about that when the answer to his question appeared in front of him. A large man, easily twice his size, wait, not just one. No, about three or four._

_“Wh-Who are yo-“ His question was interrupted by an abrupt slap to the cheek. The blond gasped quietly and froze up in shock._

_The man kneeling in front of him, the one that had delivered the slap, spoke up in a rough, deep voice. “Keep that pretty mouth shut, why don’t you? I don’t tolerate the ones that ask questions.”_

_What should he do? Armin wasn’t planning on acting out or disobeying, in fear of his life. Should he nod and ensure his compliance? He decided to just keep quiet. Still, he was curious as to what they wanted from him._

_Were they holding him hostage to ask for ransom money? It was a likely possibility, but the boy had never been in such a situation, and didn’t know what he should do. He made the stupid mistake of attempting to talk reasonably with the thugs. “If it’s money you want, then I can-“_

_Another blow to the face, this time much more forceful. “I thought I told you to shut your trap!” The man grabbed a fistful of Armin’s hair and pressed his head into the floor. “I’m going to make myself plenty of cash selling your ass, don’t you worry sweetheart..”_

_He grinned a terrifying, disturbing grin. The young boy’s heart pounded in his chest. ‘Selling?’_

_“Strip her and heat up the branding iron. You know the drill..” The man in the centre instructed before leaving the room._

_“Yes Boss.” The remaining three men asserted in unison. One of them, the tallest and thinnest of the three, took hold of Armin and started to pry his school uniform pants off his hips._

_The blond had told himself that he wouldn’t resist, the logical part of his brain knew there was a good chance of punishment if he put up a fight. Despite this, instinctual fear took over, and Armin found himself struggling against the stranger’s grasp._

_In all his squirming, he managed to land a kick to the man’s ribs. He groaned in pain and pure rage, turning to the other two, who the fifteen year old could only assume were his accomplices. “Fuck! Rob, come hold the bitch down will ya?!”_

_A wider built man, Rob, the tall one said his name was, approached Armin. He was rolled onto his stomach, the older male’s firm hands holding down his hips and shoulders and rendering him immobile._

_He let out a desperate sob as his pants and underwear were removed, and the tall one yelled loudly. “Shit!”_

_“What the fuck is your problem now?” The burly man holding him down demanded._

_“It’s got balls, that’s the fucking problem!” The taller of the two men roughly rolled Armin onto his back. His legs were unceremoniously pried apart. “Look, dick and everything. The idiots went and bagged a dude.” A large hand wrapped itself around his cock, and squeezed tightly. Armin winced. “Fucking tiny little thing too.”_

_He couldn’t stop the tears that filled his blue eyes and began to roll down his cheeks. He was mortified, why were they doing this to him?_

_The third man, the one that had been off doing something else whilst Armin was stripped and scrutinised, finally spoke up. “Roll him back over, I’m branding him anyway. Maybe Boss knew this one had a cock and is gonna start selling to faggots too.”_

_“Doubt it. I couldn’t tell from the face.” The hefty man behind him changed his position yet again, and Armin was forced into his knees. His head down, ass up._

_He looked behind him, and his heart sunk to his stomach. Iron, so scalding hot that it was bright red and nearly melting, was brandished behind him. “On the right hip, don’t fuck it up.” The tall thug warned._

_“Shut up! I’ve done this a thousand times already.” That’s when he realised._

_The stamp on the end of the metal rod was going to be burned into him. He could have thrown up right there._

_No, no, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. He desperately tried to squirm, scrambling as much as his possibly could with two limbs, his arms still restricted behind him._

_“Fucking hell, keep it still or I will fuck up.” The man holding the branding iron chided._

_And unrelenting grip was held on Armin’s waist and thighs. This was it, it was hopeless, there was nothing he could do to prevent this._

_He squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the scorching iron to make contact._

_Nothing could have prepared him for the sheer pain he experienced in that moment. The agony of it was unimaginable, and the blond wished with every fibre of his being that he would drop dead and be freed from his torture._

_The sound of the metal hissing as it burnt through layers upon layers of his flesh was unheard, completely drowned out by the sound of Armin’s shrill cry. A bloodcurdling scream that could be heard throughout the entire building. The boy thought his head might explode, and he hoped it would, so he could be put out of his misery._

_The stamp was removed and put away, but he didn’t care or notice, not with the distraction of his hip stinging and pulsing with white hot affliction._

_He was alone in the room, the three men had left, and Armin wailed in sheer torment until he passed out from exhaustion._

_———————————-_

_The blond’s sleep was disturbed by a sharp kick to his side, he arched his back in reaction._

_“Wake the fuck up.” Another strange man, the one everyone had been calling ‘Boss’, was standing over him._

_Armin sat up, for lack of other options, and immediately regretted it as a sharp pang of pain radiated throughout his hip. He gasped, reaching up to tug at his hair, a habit he had developed when he was in pain._

_His wrist bindings were removed, but the boy couldn’t find it in him to be relieved or grateful about it. The Boss scoffed at him as he looked up and down. “They weren’t fucking around, you really are a boy.”_

_The blond bowed his head in shame. His body was bare, everything on show for all of his disgusting kidnappers to see._

_“Fuck it. You won’t sell, but now we have one for personal use that I don’t mind fucking up..”_

_What was he talking about? Armin couldn’t think straight. He was hurting, and confused. “Alright Princess. Bend over, on your knees, ass in the air. Might not have a vag, but I can always settle for anal.”_

_The realisation of it all hit Armin like a freight train._

_Selling. Personal use. Bend over. Anal._

_They were going to rape him._

_Armin had heard all the horrific stories, but not once in his life did he think it would ever happen to him. He panicked, attempting to stand but falling right back on his ass, his burn protesting from the blow._

_He tried to plead through agonised whimpers. “W-Wait, please.. No, don’t.. Please..”_

_The man tutted and gave a disgustingly amused smirk. “Look beautiful, you’re gonna have to give up your tight little virgin asshole to one of us eventually, but it’s me you’re dealing with, so it looks like it’s going to have to be today.”_

_“Please don’t, I don’t-“_

_Armin was promptly bent over, and felt something positioned at his asshole, threatening to push inside. “S-Stop it! Stop it please-“_

_The ring of muscle was penetrated, all too fast and all too dry, and without preparation. It felt as if the blond’s insides were being split in two. “See?” The man groaned out. “Wasn’t that bad was it?”_

_What a lie that was. It was bad, it was so bad. The painful stretching of his hole and the revolting sensation as his innocence was being torn to shreds just like his insides were._

_His rapist started to thrust, violently and without consideration for Armin’s abused orifice. The blond felt less and less friction, and realised the red liquid that was dripping down his thighs and pooling at the floor. He was bleeding, a lot. Was he going to die?_

_The sight of his own blood made him lightheaded, and the sound of the man’s sickening grunts began to fade, replaced by the younger boy’s cries._

_He continued to violate the smaller male for what seemed like hours, before finishing and filling Armin’s ass with his revolting load._

_As soon as his rapist released his grip on the blond’s hips, he collapsed to the floor. The boy felt disgusting wet lips on his neck. “Thanks for the great time beautiful, see you tomorrow.” He whispered grotesquely into his ear, and Armin’s entire nude body was covered in goosebumps. He shuddered._

_The door was slammed, and Armin was left alone on the floor. Cold, naked, bleeding, and forever ruined._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to get the bad stuff over with so I can start picking things up.


	10. Chapter Nine

The blond came back to reality feeling like he hadn’t blinked in ten years. He sat up and rubbed at his temples, they were throbbing.

“There you are, we lost you for a moment there. You feeling okay?” Armin didn’t have to look to confirm that it was Mikasa’s voice, she sounded concerned.

He contemplated for a while. Lost him for a moment? He couldn’t remember anything after Aunt Carla and Doctor Jaeger had come back. “Uh.. yeah, I’m okay. Just.. nightmares, I think.”

Mikasa shuffled her chair closer to Armin’s bed. “You got upset during the digital exam and starting staring off into space. Wouldn’t respond to anything. Doc said it was probably catatonia.”

“Oh.” The smaller of the two pulled his knees up to his chest, trying to calm the wave of nausea that had made itself known during that flashback. Trauma and shock had pushed him into a catatonic state in the past, but his friend wasn’t aware of that. He’d probably given them a fright. “Sorry.”

Mikasa quickly brushed off his apology. “Doctor says everything looks fine, but they’re concerned about how you don’t seem to be letting up on the bleeding.”

Armin shook his head dismissively, he absolutely _did not_ want to discuss his asshole with her. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll lessen with time..”

The blond felt a rush of sickness make its way up his chest. He needed to stand. No, that would make it worse. “Uhh, Mika. I think I’m gonna puke-“ He cut off his own sentence when he clasped a hand to his mouth.

“Oh- Uh, don’t panic. Here.” The jet black haired girl had produced a cardboard pulp bowl seemingly out of nowhere, but Armin wasn’t interested in figuring out where it had come from in that moment.

He vomited his stomachs contents into the bowl, which at that point was mostly just water and soup. Mikasa was rubbing his back gently as he heaved. _‘Don’t come close to me.’_ He brooded. _‘Can’t you see how disgusting this is?’_

Once Armin’s episode of retching was finished, the gray eyed girl moved the bowl away and pushed the hair back from the blond’s forehead, only to find that his temperature was fine. “I’ll go get Doctor Jaeger.” She announced.

“Don’t. I’m not sick. I promise.” The short boy gasped, his breathing still rapid. “I just remembered something that made me feel nauseous, that’s all.”

Mikasa looked unconvinced. “There’s blood in the bowl.”

He quickly denied the claims. “No there’s not, it’s just tomato soup. You know I haven’t been eating much else. Just go get rid of it, please.”

His friend didn’t argue with him any further, disposing of the bowl in the clinical waste bin. Armin felt slightly guilty, he knew the girl had trouble making decisions for herself after Eren had saved her. He shouldn’t have shut her offer down in such a discouraging way.

He decided to lay back down, he wasn’t interested in talking about his health with Mikasa any longer.

“Doctor Jaeger said you can be discharged today.” The girl mumbled a little dejectedly as she washed her hands and resumed her position at the smaller’s bedside. Armin shouldn’t have been so harsh with her- wait, what did she say?

The blond sat up so quickly it hurt. “You’re kidding.” He received a smile from the taller girl. Looks like she was over it.

“I’m not kidding. You’re going home today, Eren’s Mom and Dad are signing your discharge papers.”

Armin threw his arms around his friend, grinning like an idiot. “And to think you were going to make me stay here longer by convincing the Doctors I was vomiting blood.”

“If you had to stay longer I wouldn’t have told you they were planning on discharging you.” Mikasa got up and made herself busy grabbing articles of clothing from the drawers in the blond’s hospital room. “Let me get you changed into these and I’ll help you to the car.”

The smaller boy beamed giddily. He pulled his shirt off with such haste, it was almost as if he thought the opportunity to go home would be taken away from him if he didn’t hurry.

“Slow down, we’re not in any rush. You’re going to hurt yourself.” The girl scolded lightly as he pulled a hoodie over Armin’s head. It was a lot looser on him than he remembered it to be. “You’re so excited, you remind me of Eren when he was younger.” The blond pouted in mock offence at her comment.

Mikasa hooked her thumbs under the waistband of his pants, and his breath caught in his throat. She paused in her tracks. “Armin, relax. It’s just me.”

The blond looked away, a little ashamed of how he’d reacted to her completely innocent touch. She had been so gentle with him, her actions didn’t carry a trace of malicious intent. Why was he getting so worked up? “Y-You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m being stupid.”

Her ink black hair bounced as she shook her head gently. “You’re not being stupid or unreasonable at all. I understand why you reacted the way you did, but I promise you I won’t hurt you.”

_‘Is she reading my mind? How does she know exactly what I’m thinking-‘_

Oh. Right.

Mikasa had similar experiences when she was younger. She was probably under the correct assumption that Armin was thinking in the way she did back then.

She finished her job of dressing him quickly and efficiently, pulling a pair of loose jeans over his hips and buttoning them accordingly. The blond had realised midway that his catheter hadn’t been removed, apparently he was going home with it. _‘Great.’_

“Can you walk, or do you need me to carry you?” Mikasa asked him after folding his old hospital clothes and setting them down on a chair.

“I think.. I can walk, with assistance.” She seemed to agree with confidence that he could, and positioned his arm over her shoulder, supporting some of his weight.

“Just take it one step at a time, let me know if you feel like it’s too much.” Armin nodded, taking his first couple steps outside the hospital room and into the hallway. He wouldn’t lie to himself, it _did_ hurt. It wasn’t excruciating, and he felt like he could make it to the car, but he had no interest in keeping this up for any longer than five minutes.

They met up with Eren and his parents, who were down near the wards exit. Carla smiled at him and commented on how much better he looked now he was up and dressed. She praised him for it relentlessly, congratulating him on his recovery so far, like any doting parent would.

Eren and Doctor Jaeger however, they didn’t meet his eyes, and the blond was initially puzzled as to why that could be, but he perished the thought in favour of getting to the parking lot before he dropped dead. The strain in his legs was worsening the longer he stood still.

—————————-

The car ride home would have been boring if it wasn’t for the fact that Armin hadn’t been outside in over half a year. Just looking out of the window kept him occupied for the whole hour. The blond boy realised after the first twenty minutes that he was a lot farther from home than he initially thought.

Doctor Jaeger unlocked the front door when they’d reach their house, and even just the smell of home that hit him once the door opened could have brought him to tears.

The kitchen and dining area was exactly like he remembered it, and so was the living room. Not even the plates and silverware on the drying rack were the tiniest bit different. It was almost as if time had stopped whilst Armin wasn’t there.

Walking up the stairs, despite how difficult the task was with his injuries, also brought back a flood of fond memories. Back when he would climb them everyday after dinner so he could take a bath and study.

Eren would always loudly play his first person shooter games just a few feet away on his side of the room, controller buttons and joysticks clicking noisily to no end, but Armin had learned to deal with the distractions.

Mikasa would come in from her room, her hair resembling a bird’s nest from laying on the pillow, and reprimand him for being so loud before even Carla could. She would prattle on about how late it was, and curse him in her mother tongue. The blond could only laugh as he was caught in the middle of it, Eren begging him to translate what the girl was yelling at him.

Armin’s side of the room looked like it hadn’t been lived in for years, and he couldn’t help but feel sadness in his heart at the sight of it. His bed was perfectly made, the books and personal belongings neatly put away, not knowing if they would ever be used again.

His photographs had been stowed away too, and the blond wondered if this was because the sight of them made Eren unhappy.

Similar to everything else, bass guitar Armin played in junior high had been tucked into it’s case and stored under the bed and out of sight. Ignorance was the green eyed boy’s best coping mechanism, and the smaller teen couldn’t blame him for not wanting to be reminded of how his best friend was gone.

“I’m sorry I put so much of your stuff away. I couldn’t bring myself to look at them.” He apologised as the blond took in the sight of their shared room. Armin shook off the apology, insisting it was fine.

He noticed that despite all this, his seashells remained the way he’d displayed them. No one had moved them or stashed them anywhere, not even Eren.

Armin laid down on his bed and sighed, breathing in deeply and contently. Aunt Carla must have started dinner, because he could smell the nostalgic scent of home cooked meals, something he hadn’t eaten in so long. Mikasa took a seat on the foot of his bed, resting her head on her knees.

“If you’re feeling up to it tomorrow, I was thinking we could head down to the school and see the others. They don’t even have a clue that you’ve been found.” Eren yawned as he scooched up next to the other two on his Armin’s bed, he closed his eyes. All of them were threatening to drift off to sleep at any given moment.

The blond boy hummed in agreement. “That would be nice.. For now though, nap time.” He snuggled between the other two, and couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. The three of them fell into a deep sleep.

None of them, not even the smallest one, were plagued by nightmares in eachothers company.

Armin was home, and he was so glad for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 2.5k hits!


	11. Chapter Ten

When Eren stirred, it was already 12:16 PM. The bright red numbers on his alarm clock across the room were flashing brightly. How did he let himself sleep that long?

More importantly, it came to his attention that Mikasa and Armin weren’t in the bed with him like they had been. He sat up, searching the room for any sign of them.

The room he was in was all too familiar and cosy. Right, they weren’t at the hospital anymore, his friends were probably downstairs eating lunch. He should be doing that too, instead he was still in bed.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, the teen made his way downstairs. He was greeted by Mikasa and Armin, who were watching tv on the couch. They were sharing Eren’s bag of chips that he’d specifically told everyone not to touch, but the brunette couldn’t bring himself to be mad at them.

“Morning sleepy head.” The blond teased. “Did you have a good sleep?”

The taller boy rolled his turquoise eyes at him. “Why didn’t either of you wake me up?”

Mikasa rolled up the bag of chips, neither of those two were cheeky enough to eat the whole bag, Eren knew that much. She turned to him. “Because you haven’t slept a full night since Thursday. You needed the rest, whether you like it or not.”

The nearly empty bag of chips was handed to him. _‘Okay, maybe they are rude enough to eat them all.’_

The brunette pulled out his phone and sent a text to the group chat.

_**Eren: is everyone at the school dorm** _

_**Ymir: no** _

_**Reiner: Dude we’re on break** _

_**Jean: some people have families they like to spend time with idiot** _

_**Eren: idc, be there within the next hour** _

_**Connie: I have plans today** _

_**Eren: this is more important** _

_**Sasha: More important than this new ramen place i’m at?** _

**_Mikasa: So much more important._ **

**_Historia: Oh hi Mikasa_ **

**_Eren: see_ **

**_Eren: even mika says it’s important_ **

**_Annie: If it’s one of your dumb fucking games I’m going to beat you on sight._ **

**_Eren: this is life changing stuff_ **

**_Eren: it’s serious_ **

**_Eren: if the nine of you aren’t all here i stg_ **

**_Mikasa: Please trust us._ **

**_Marco: Sure, I’ll be there in about thirty minutes?_ **

**_Connie: Ok_ **

**_Jean : if you’re so adamant about it_ **

**_Historia: I’ll be there._ **

**_Ymir: fine_ **

**_Bertholdt: I’m already here._ **

**_Sasha: Okay, we’re all coming over._ **

Satisfied, Eren tucked his phone back into his pocket. “Armin, everyone’s going to be at the house soon. Be ready to leave in about forty minutes, okay?”

The blond boy nodded and resumed his game of Animal Crossing on his DS. Poor guy, his town was covered in weeds. The brunette didn’t really understand the game, but he was sure that weeds were a bad thing.

Eren’s parents bought Armin the console for his twelfth birthday, he was obsessed with it when he first got it. Always going on about how he was in debt to a capitalist raccoon, must have been a weird game.

Still, games like that helped calm the blond boys nerves, so he wasn’t complaining.

The brunette was glad he was home, but after everything that had happened to him, he still couldn’t bring himself to be happy. His best friend carried a different demeanour than he did when he last saw him.

Armin had always been a little anxious, that was the way he was after being bullied throughout his childhood. Even so, the skittish and traumatised way he carried himself nowadays was on an entirely different wavelength. The sight of certain things, or the mention of certain topics, they always instantly made him sick to his stomach.

His breathing would quicken, and his eyes would widen in what Eren could only describe as pure, consuming _fear_.

Sometimes Armin would curl in on himself when the brunette touched him, even if it was only supposed to be a comforting touch on the shoulder or a reassuring squeeze of the hand.

Eren would l have to stop the boy from scrubbing his skin off in the bath, and he would still spend upwards of two hours in there, insisting on cleaning over certain areas multiple times.

His ears were always open, background noises that he would have previously been able to ignore would always grab his attention, sometimes startling him. His eyes were often scanning the room to ensure he was safe where he was.

The blond would moan and whine in his sleep. Eren hadn’t seen him sleep still and peacefully since he went under surgery, the heavy doses of painkillers and anaesthesia temporarily keeping night terrors away.

Armin would also suddenly break down in tears from time to time, seemingly for no reason, but the taller boy knew there were things he couldn’t imagine going on inside his head.

He must be _so_ , _so_ _tired_. Eren couldn’t even _begin_ to understand what he was going through.

The brunette was angry at himself for getting so upset, he didn’t have the right. He hadn’t gone through what Armin had. He didn’t have to deal with that trauma. But he still couldn’t help but feel although he’d lost something.

He rose from his place on the couch, walking into the kitchen where his parents were cleaning up. “Mom? You think you can drop us off at the school? We’re going to take Armin to see the guys.”

Carla nodded and dried her hands, abandoning the dishes she was washing and leaving the job to Grisha, who didn’t seem too grateful for the added work. “I trust you two can look after him? Don’t let him get hurt or it’s your ass, got it?”

“Yes mom...” His mother’s warnings had never been particularly gentle, at least not with him. Mikasa and Armin however, they seemed to get better treatment.

——————————

Arriving at their boarding school was surreal. Ever since Armin went missing, Eren and Mikasa had moved back in with the former’s parents. None of them had returned to the living quarters of the school grounds in months.

Armin himself was affected by it too. School used to be one of his favourite places on earth, he loved to learn, more than anything else in the world. Being kept away from his books and education for so long had definitely taken its toll.

“I think you should knock the door.” Mikasa commented as the three of them arrived at their dorms entrance. She removed the blond’s arm from around her shoulder, making sure he was able to stand without her help.

The twelve of them used to live here together, sharing a living space had brought them a lot closer together than they were in junior high. Armin knocked gently on the door with his good arm.

It was Ymir that answered, and she nearly lost her balance at the sight of the blond boy.

“Oi, Ymir. What’s the matter with you? It’s Eren, isn’t it?” Jean’s voice, coming from the kitchen.

The freckled girl at the door smirked. “You guys are going to lose your shit. Armin fucking Arlert just knocked on our door.”

“Idiot, that’s not funny you know. He’s gone, okay? He’s not coming back.” The taller boy chastised, and Armin could hear a hint of sadness in his voice.

“You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, Jean.” The small blond boy grinned, stepping past Ymir into the living room. Nine jaws dropped in unison, and Armin couldn’t help but smile. “Hi-“

He was tackled by Sasha and Connie, the two had thrown their arms around him enthusiastically. They were already in tears. “You’re alive! You’re okay!” The chestnut haired girl cried between choked sobs.

“Hey, watch it!” Eren reprimanded them for their carelessness. “Can’t you see he’s hurt? Be careful with him!”

The pair immediately backed off, it was as if they hadn’t noticed the giant cast on the blond’s arm in all their excitement. Armin made sure to reassure them that they hadn’t hurt him. “Eren, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.”

”You’re alive! You’re here!” Connie sniffled. 

The blond boy pat him on the head gently, which seemed to be everyone’s favourite thing to do with the boy’s buzz cut. “I am. I’m home” He smiled. 

Everyone had had their reunion with him, each of them giving gentle hugs or a warm welcome back. After that, they decided to order pizza and chill on the sofa together watching cartoons. Armin was glad for it, cartoons wouldn’t have any possibly triggering themes, that was good.

The room fell silent, before someone, Reiner to be exact, finally voiced the question everyone had on their minds.

“So... Where have you been?”

Armin knew it was coming, but he was in no way prepared to tell them about what had happened, not yet at least. The things he’d been through were far too personal to just say right then and there. He needed to reflect on it first.

“I.. umm.. I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet, if that’s okay..” The boy averted his eyes as he felt eleven different gazes on him. Eren looked like he was ready to punch anyone who pushed the subject any further. Thankfully, no one did.

It seemed like they all got the picture, that whatever it was that had caused Armin to go missing for seven months, it definitely wasn’t pretty.

“O-On another note though, do you think you can get me up to speed with everything that’s happened while I’m gone? I missed a lot of your birthdays, as well as other things I’m sure, so-“

“Christa changed her name.”

“I came out as gay back in June..”

“Marco has a new baby sister.”

“I got accepted into my first choice for college.”

Oh, _looks like he had more catching up to do than he thought._ “Um, let’s start with Christa’s new name first.”

The blond girl smiled. “Technically it’s my old name. My father made me change it when I was ten but Ymir convinced me to take it back and stop pretending to be someone I’m not. My real name is Historia Reiss.”

“Reiss? As in that noble family?” Christa- no, Historia nodded.

“I was a bastard child so he didn’t want me living in his name, but I just decided ‘fuck what he wants’, you know?”

Hearing the short girl curse was never something Armin ever expected. Had her bubbly personality she’d carried since he met her been a facade too?

Marco noticed the boy’s initial shock and chuckled. “She’s a feisty one Armin, we were all surprised by it. But I think she’s better this way..”

He nodded in agreement. Whoever Historia truly was, it was infinitely better than acting her whole life. “Oh Marco, Bert said you had a new baby sister? Congratulations.”

The freckled boy smiled and pulled out his phone and scrolled for a few seconds, pulling up a photo of a baby with the same freckles as him. “Her name is May. She was born in May so the name just kind of stuck. My parents liked that it began with an M like my name.”

The blond took a couple seconds to fawn over the adorable baby May on his phone screen. “She’s cute.” He smiled. “Did you say you came out too? I’m proud of you.”

Marco nodded bashfully. “Yeah, thankfully pretty much everyone that matters accepted me. I wasn’t worried about you guys, but I was super nervous with my parents. Of course then there’s Reiner, he got into his college of choice.”

The seventeen year old grinned confidently. “You bet I did.” Reiner was a couple years older than Armin, so he was already in his last year of high school, while most of them were in their first. With the exception of Annie, Bert and Sasha, who were second years.

“That’s awesome. I hope I didn’t miss too much school..” The smaller blond sighed.

“You’re fine, it’s just the first half of the first year. All the crucial stuff comes later. And with your intelligence I’m sure you’ll catch up in no time.” The reassurance came from Jean, which Armin thought was odd.

“Jean also dropped his asshole act this year, turns out he’s a bit of a softie.” Ymir teased from her place on the beanbag on the floor. “It’s like his new character arc.”

Jean turned to her and scoffed, not bothering to indulge her with a reply. “Aren’t we going to watch something else?”

“What’s wrong with The Amazing World of Gumball?” Sasha gasped dramatically as she shovelled more popcorn into her mouth.

“Can’t we watch something with more action?” Annie spoke up for the first time all night, she’d briefly welcomed Armin home when he first arrived and that was the end of her talking for the rest of the day.

_‘Please don’t put on anything violent. I won’t be able to stop myself from puking.’_

Mikasa stepped in like the saviour she was. “I don’t want to watch anything violent.”

“You’re not usually bothered about that stuff.” Eren commented, you know, like an idiot.

_‘Nice going Eren, you’re unintentionally messing up my viewer discretion here.’_

“The anniversary of my attempted abduction is coming up and I don’t want to be reminded of it right now.” The black haired girl sighed as she winked at Eren and nudged him gently with her elbow.

It looked like the green haired boy had gotten the point, but their theatrics didn’t go unnoticed by the most observant and intelligent members of the group.

Ymir and Annie in particular looked like they were piecing it together, and even Bertholdt and Reiner, who weren’t exactly renowned for their intelligence, glanced at eachother as if they understood the true connotations behind Mikasa’s words.

Armin thought he should probably prepare his explanation speech soon.

———————————

“You sure you’re okay sleeping on your own?” Eren voiced his concern from the doorway to Armin’s room for what seemed like the hundredth time. Their visit had ran longer into the evening than they’d intended, and after calling their parents and informing them, everyone had decided to stay the night at their shared dorm.

The blond was rummaging through his drawers, looking for some old pyjamas that he might have left there when he was last here at the start of the year. “I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m not on my own. Marco and Bertholdt are just over there.” He motioned to the two dark haired boys a few feet across from him, and they smiled at him.

Their dorm wasn’t big enough for all of them to have their own rooms, so they’d all come up with a way to share their living space without getting on eachothers nerves.

The girls all shared the largest room, since there were five of them. And the boys were divided between the two other rooms. The loud, energetic ones such as Connie and Eren in one room, and the more calm and reserved boys in the other. This way their personalities didn’t clash, and Armin could study in the quiet company of Marco and Bertholdt whilst Reiner and Jean did God knows what in other room.

Of course, this meant that neither Eren nor Mikasa would be able to watch over the blond in the night. Surprisingly, Armin himself wasn’t nearly as concerned about it as they were. “Just go to bed, I’ll be okay.”

Marco looked up from his book and offered the green eyed boy a reassuring gaze. “If anything happens I’ll wake you up and switch beds with you. Go get some rest, Eren.”

The brunette sighed defeatedly and ran a hand through the blonds hair. “Okay, goodnight. I’m just next door if you need me.” The smaller of the two nodded and Eren left the room, closing the door behind him.

Armin sighed and tasked himself with changing into his nightclothes. He loved Eren, and he appreciated everything he did for him. Still, sometimes he got tired of his constant coddling, it made him feel like a burden.

“He’s just worried about you, that’s all.” As if reading his mind, the freckled boy spoke up. The smaller boy hummed in agreement before resuming what he was doing.

It was then that Armin was reminded of the presence of the two other boys. He would have to get undressed in order to change, they would see his wounds. The blond was debating just going to bed in his clothes, but put a stop to that train of thought.

_‘Enough, you need to tell them about it soon anyway. Just redress quickly and they might not even notice. You’re being stupid.’_

How quickly could he recover his bruises and cuts with his body as weak as it was? Even with Eren or Mikasa’s assistance, something he didn’t have right now, getting dressed usually took forever with how carefully he needed to tread around his injuries.

Armin steeled himself and began pulling his hoodie over his head, the action made difficult with his broken forearm. He got it off after no small amount of wiggling, and was made acutely aware of the slashes and bruises that littered his back and chest.

He glanced over to the other two. They weren’t looking, that was good. Marco was engrossed in whatever he was reading and the tallest of them had rolled over and set his head down on the pillow, a position that definitely wouldn’t be held for long if Bert fell asleep, the boy’s sleeping habits causing him to toss and turn to an unimaginable extent.

The blond boy grabbed his sleep shirt and pulled it over his head, gently threading his injured arm through the sleeve. Armin knew he should probably change his underwear, the fabric was most likely heavily spotted with blood by now, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it here.

He had to take his medicine at nine, did they bring it with them? He hadn’t yet started the course of antibiotics, so waiting another day to do it couldn’t hurt. Well, it might _hurt_ , but it wouldn’t _harm_ him.

He was a mess, Eren had only been gone for ten minutes and he was struggling to keep up with even his most basic needs. _‘Grow up, changing underwear isn’t hard. You’re acting pathetic.’_ The blond boy scolded himself in his own head. _‘It’s not like they’re going to just get up and watch.’_

Pulling his jeans and boxers down in one swift movement and discarding them on the floor, making sure the bloody spots were facing down and not visible, Armin quickly grabbed a his pair of pyjama pants and shrugged them on with as much vigour as one could with a fractured arm.

He grimaced at the sight of his fingers, now bloody from having touched around the area. The blond grabbed a tissue from the box on his nightstand.

“Armin, is that blood?”

Armin’s breath caught in his throat, heart pounding in his chest. Marco’s voice, no doubt. Turning around to look at the freckled boy, eyes wide as saucers, he swallowed hard. “Um..”

“Are you hurt?”

 _‘Yes.’_ Was what the blond wanted to say. He wanted to admit it so badly, not only to Marco, but to himself. _‘Yes, I’m hurting, I’m hurting so much.’_

Pulling his knees up to his chest was a habit of Armin’s, especially if he was upset or frightened, it made him feel more secure. In that moment however, it was the worst thing he could have possibly done.

By the time he realised he’d unknowingly exposed the patch of blood on the seat of his pants, Marco had already seen it. He quickly straightened out his legs, but it was too late. “Armin..”

“Don’t.” The blond boy tried to stifle the sob that was threatening to come out. “Forget you saw anything, please..” Bertholdt was thankfully asleep, he wouldn’t have to endure the judgement and disgust from both of them.

“You’re injured.” The taller boy mumbled gently. He had already put his book down, and looked like he was debating walking over to Armin’s bed.

Armin let out a whimper of defeat and nodded his head shamefully. “I-I am. I am Marco, and it hurts.” He sobbed. “It hurts so bad, all of it.”

Was he still talking about his injuries at this point? Or was he referring to the deep aching pain in his heart that made him feel ruined and empty every waking hour of the day? He didn’t know anymore.

“What happened to you, Armin?”

 _‘Don’t.’_ He agonised in his head. _‘Don’t make me tell you, Marco. I know it happened, I can’t change that it happened. But I still can’t bring myself to say the word.’_

Rape. That awful word and all the meaning it carried with it. The blond had yet to say it out loud. When referring to it, he always instead used the words ‘injuries’ or ‘assault’. He couldn’t even say ‘sexual assault’. It was always just ‘assault’ or ‘abuse’ or something similar.

He had tried so desperately to avoid acknowledging that yes, it had happened. And yes, what had happened _was_ rape, and nothing less.

“I’m tired, Marco. I’m so exhausted. I don’t have the strength to accept it, so I deny it like a weakling.” Marco didn’t interrupt him, instead listening to everything he had to say closely and with concern. “I’m worthless. I’m ruined. I don’t know how much longer I can go on feeling this way.”

Armin took a deep breath. “W-When I come clean about what happened to me, I only want to have to do it once.” He wiped the tears from his blue eyes. “Please don’t make me say it, I’m not ready..”

The freckled boy nodded. “Do you want me to get Eren-“

“No!” Marco recoiled a little at the force and suddenness of his voice. “No, don’t. I’m okay. Sorry.” Telling Eren meant telling Eren’s father, and Armin didn’t want to be subjected to any more scrutiny or treatment. No, he just wanted to go to sleep.

The blond turned off the lamp and crawled into bed, laying his head down on the pillow and suppressing the urge to cry. He was bleeding, but he couldn’t find it in him to care anymore. His physical wounds didn’t scratch the surface of how torn up Armin felt on the inside.

Against his better judgment, but in favour of Armin’s wishes, Marco lay down and went to sleep too.

Everyday, Armin was beginning to feel less and less glad that he was found alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have written this chapter a little too soon but I was so excited to write Armin’s reunion with everyone. 
> 
> I also wanted to include something here about how a victim’s family or friend can feel after an assault, so I tried my best.
> 
> Also pop culture references.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Armin didn’t sleep at first that night. He didn’t want to think about the nightmares that would greet him should he give in and fall into slumber.

He had agonised over every sentence, every word, of how he was going to explain things to them, his friends. He wasn’t sure whether it should be short and blunt, or if he should sit them all down and tell them about all of it. They were bound to ask questions if he just blurted it out of nowhere.

Armin wasn’t a great public speaker when it came down to normal everyday topics, the blond didn’t know how he would handle the stares and attention of eleven people as he came clean about something so sensitive.

Still, it had to be done. They deserved to know the truth, he wanted to tell them the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. He felt like if he got it all out in the open, that it would be easier to accept, that he would be able to move on.

If he left it all behind him, and let the words disappear into the air of the coming afternoon, he would be just fine. He could leave it all in the hands of today, and tomorrow would come and free him from the binds that were slowly suffocating him.

_‘It can’t hurt you if you do it with a smile. You want to live. Don’t give up. You want to live. Don’t let them in.’_

_You want to live._

**_You want to live._ **

Was he telling himself the truth? He didn’t know. He just wanted to believe that better times were waiting for him. That could spend all day with his friends again, laughing so much his stomach hurt, and they would all stuff their faces with fast food on the way home.

Armin smiled at the memory, and allowed that thought, and that thought alone, to carry him into unconsciousness.

——————————-

Night terrors didn’t plague the blond at all, and he stirred the next morning with a new sense of purpose. He rose from his bed and threw on his clothes from yesterday, making his way into the kitchen.

Most of his roommates were already up, either enjoying a hot drink or tearing into a box of cereal. Armin offered them a smile and started on making himself some tea. He stirred small amounts of sugar into the boiling, browned water for what seemed like hours before speaking up.

The blond didn’t know if he could even call it speaking, his voice was barely above a whisper and everyone stopped their activities to reduce background noise so they could listen in. “I umm... need to talk to all of you later, if that’s okay..”

Marco’s gaze softened sympathetically but Armin swiftly turned away from it. He didn’t want to remember the way he’d been caught, literally, red handed by the freckled boy. He was smart, he’d probably already pieced it together.

He received noises of affirmation from the group. Chances were that they knew what he wanted to talk about. The answer to the question he’d been asked last night.

Where have you been?

_‘To hell and back.’_

Armin had already decided he was done with feeling sorry for himself, he had to pull himself together, for better or worse. In hindsight though, he probably shouldn’t have forced his recovery the way he did. Everyone was in room now, and Eren and Mikasa had started to fuss over the blond boy as soon as they saw him.

“We’re all going to the old arcade today, you’ll come too, right?” Reiner proposed from his seat at the breakfast table.

“Eh? Really?” The blond thought it was a little sudden, it did sound fun though. “Where did that idea come from?”

“Because we’ve missed you Armin. We want to spent time with you.” Sasha offered him a smile as she swallowed what looked to be at least twenty pieces of cereal with minimal chewing.

Eren tutted under his breath. “Slow down will you? He only got out of the hospital the day before yesterday. It hasn’t even been a week since he was found. He needs to rest.” The blond smiled and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I think I can handle a game of frogger, Eren. I’m not an invalid.” He was almost offended, but he knew the brunette teen was just looking out for him.

“I don’t think we should go either.” Marco supplied out of nowhere. “I think Armin needs to stay home for now.” Bertholdt hummed in agreement, ironically, the only two that had been in the room with him last night when his injuries were exposed.

Jean frowned. “Do you know something we don’t?”

Marco was about to deny it when Armin spoke up. “Yes. He does.” The tall freckled teen stopped talking abruptly. The blond continued. “And I need to tell you about it here and now or I won’t ever have the courage to ever again.”

“Armin-“ Mikasa’s concerned tone almost made him reconsider. Almost.

“Nearly seven months ago. I was abducted in the streets and taken somewhere against my will.” The blond steeled himself, trying to steady his shaking voice. There was no going back now. “I was branded like cattle and my captors claimed ownership of my life.”

The group listened intently. Some looked shocked, horrified. Others looked downcast and miserable, almost as if their suspicions had been confirmed.

“It was a human trafficking ring. Girls were being kidnapped and sold like objects, and I had to sit there and watch them come and go.” Armin lowered his head some more, resting his arms on the table, tempted to bury his face in them. “They couldn’t sell me, so I was-“ His voice cut off against his will.

“They-“

“I was-“

The small blond couldn’t do anything but listen in horror as his voice betrayed him. His words didn’t sound like his own. No matter how hard he tried, the sentences refused to make themselves heard. Getting stuck in Armin’s throat every time.

He felt the collective expectant leer of his dearest friends, they were waiting for him to finish his sentence.

He couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Enough. I don’t have the courage.” Armin gasped as he buried his face in his arms and started to bawl. “I still can’t say it.” Mikasa and Eren tried to comfort him as the others tried to digest his words.

The blond looked up for a moment, teary blue eyes making contact with the tall dark haired boy across from him, blue eyes that were begging for something Armin couldn’t define.

Marco swallowed, as if his words were caught on his tongue as he contemplated whether or not he should come out with them. “Armin...” He breathed in deep, his expression a pained one.

“You know, don’t you?!” Armin’s small body racked with sobs, and he suppressed the urge to scream. “Don’t you?!”

The room fell quiet, even the wounded boy’s whimpers did nothing to break the bleak atmosphere. “...raped.” The words were hardly audible, not even heard by the ink black haired girl who had wrapped her arms around him and embraced him from behind.

“What?”

“I was raped.”

The boys relief of having been able to utter the confession didn’t last long, instead it was overwritten by the suffocating fear of the reaction he would get. Would they think he was ruined? Dirty? They probably never wanted to look at him again.

He was disgusting and tainted and they didn’t deserve to have to deal with how disgusting and broken he was.

Armin suddenly felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around him, wait, three pairs. No, seven. Ten? There were gentle hands in his hair, soothing touches to his cheek. A secure and comforting hold around his shoulders, a few soft kisses to his forehead and a tender rubbing of his back.

“I’m so sorry Armin.”

“We love you.”

“We’re here.”

“We love you so much.”

“I’m right here.”

“I’ve got you.”

Oh.

_Oh._

Blue eyes widened in shock. Hands grabbed around aimlessly to try and reciprocate the kind gestures enveloping him. How long had it been since he’d felt safe and secure like this? How long had it been since he’d felt anything that wasn’t overwhelming fear and grief?

The blond couldn’t keep track of who was saying what anymore. He allowed himself to lament in their presence. It was over, he’d done it.

—————————-

“Are you okay?” The question came from Eren, he spoke softly and gently. Everyone had dispelled from the kitchen a short while ago to give Armin some space to adjust and accept what he’d told them. Eren and Mikasa stayed with him, though.

The shorter boy nodded, wiping a stray tear from his flushed cheek. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“I know.” Mikasa leaned over his shoulder and placed a kiss on his temple. “But you did it, and I’m so proud of you.”

He felt the two of them go to pull away, and grabbed hold of both their arms. “Don’t go yet.” He suppressed the urge to weep. “Just hold me for a little longer... please..” The two fulfilled his request, leaning in closer and holding him tightly. The boy could have stayed like that forever, he almost started to go limp in their arms.

“Woah, Armin. Don’t fall asleep on us like that.” Eren thought he was going to have to catch the blond as he started to slip down the chair.

Armin buried his face in the crook of the brunettes elbow. “I’m tired...” His friends looked over him with what seemed to be an expression of concern or something similar, the smaller boy wasn’t paying much attention.

“And to think you wanted to go out to the arcade today.” Emerald eyes narrowed slightly. “You’ve only been awake for an hour, you shouldn’t be this exhausted.” The blond hummed, closing his eyes.

“Whatever... take me to bed?”

Mikasa lifted Armin up into her arms, hands hooked under his knees and upper back. Setting him gently on the bed, she pulled the covers up over his shoulders.

The blond felt wetness build in his throat, and coughed. He spluttered the mysterious liquid in his mouth onto the pillow.

Crimson red blood, _unmistakably such._

“Is that-?”

Armin wiped his mouth and flipped his pillow over within a matter of seconds, not daring for a moment to meet his friend’s gaze. “No. It’s not.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and Mikasa swore she could hear the dread in his voice before he even spoke. “It is. Let me see.” Armin frantically shook his head and pulled the covers up over his face. “Armin, this is serious.”

“It’s nothing, it’s probably just a cut in my throat or something. It’ll go away.” He buried his face in the pillow, his voice scratchy as if he need to cough but was suppressing it. “If I have to think about how much they destroyed me again, I think I’ll lose it.” The blond boy bit back and whine and continued. “I’m asking you, please... Put my feelings before my health. Just this once..”

“Armin, you know we can’t-“ The brunette tried to rub his friend’s shoulder gently, put Armin pulled away from the touch.

“Please. I-“ Tears were threatening to fall again, but he didn’t look like he was going to allow it. “I told everyone about it, that was supposed to be the end. It wasn’t supposed to keep plaguing me like this.”

“I know. I know, and it’s not fair. None of this is fair.” Mikasa tugged the blanket down a little and uncovered his face, stroking her hand through the golden hair that stuck to his cheeks, still wet from the tears he had shed in the kitchen earlier. “You’re the last person that it should have happened to..”

The girl tugged gently on Eren’s arm, and she pulled him out of the room and into the corridor. She breathed in deep. “Eren, I think we should let it go.” The brunette boy looked at her as if she had two heads. “Don’t you think he’s had enough?”

“Of course I do! But you can’t be saying we should act like we didn’t see anything, he’s hurt! We need to-“ His panicked voice was cut off by the girl in front of him.

“I’m not saying we do nothing. If it gets worse then we won’t have much choice, whether Armin likes it or not.” She pulled her scarf over her nose. “But I think for now, we should just keep it between the three of us.”

Eren sighed. “Fine. The two of us will look after him, for now.” He turned to the door, about to re-enter Armin’s room. “But if he gets even the _slightest_ bit more ill, I’m telling my dad.”

Turning the handle and closing the door behind them, the two of them were immediately back at their friends side.

“Armin, can I see your injuries?”

“No.”

The black haired girl wasn’t sure what Eren was expecting when he made that request. It wasn’t as if Armin would just say ‘ _sure_ ’ and let him. The blond was getting more and more tired, and less and less tolerant. Mikasa could tell. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them, she knew he did. But the boy wanted nothing more than to be left alone, to be magically cured of all his ailments, and to forget the past seven months forever.

Still, the green eyed boy tried again. “Armin, I need to-“

“I said _no_.”

They weren’t getting anywhere. In a way, it was comforting. A week ago, Armin would have done anything asked of him out of pure fear. The fact that he had the confidence to say no to them was a good thing, she supposed. “Then, will you take your antibiotics?”

The blond craned his head to look at the two of them. “Pills?”

“Topical medicine.”

“Then no.”

Eren made a discouraged noise of defeat. “I know it’s not your fault, but you’re making it hard for us..” Mikasa nodded.

“We’re trying to keep you from seeing a Doctor. So please, trust us to take care of you..” She brushed his bangs away from his forehead and planted a gentle kiss there.

The smaller boy sat up, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie. “You promise you won’t hurt me?”

“Never.”

“And you’ll stop if I tell you to?”

“Of course.”

“O-Okay..”

Eren got up and locked the door, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a paper bag with Armin’s prescription medicine. “Is there a lot of blood?”

“Just what was on the pillow...”

Green eyes softened sympathetically. “No Armin, I mean... Where they got you..”

The blond boy’s face flushed and he turned his head away, avoiding the taller’s eyes. “I- I don’t want to talk about that. It’s embarrassing..”

“No it’s not. I’m your best friend.” Mikasa watched as Eren put a hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder. “Upsetting and unfair, yes. Never embarrassing.”

“Then.. yeah. There’s quite a bit. Marco saw, I think it worried him...” Armin undid the buckle on his belt and hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his jeans before stopping. “Do you really have to make me do this?” He hung his head low as he talked, voice brimming with shame. “I really don’t want to..”

Mikasa sat down behind him on his bed. She wrapped her arms gently around his shoulders, allowing him to rest his head and neck on her chest. “I’ve got you.” Running her fingers through his soft and slightly overgrown hair, she spoke softly and comfortingly. “Relax, it’ll be over in a minute.”

Armin hummed in agreement, pulling his pants down over his hips, Eren stopped him. “Let me do it, just sit there and try to keep yourself calm.”

“I might throw up if you touch me. I can’t help it, I’m sorry.” The blond warned as his friend tugged his jeans and underwear the rest of the way off. Mikasa tightened her protective hold on him.

“I know. It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” The brunette hissed when he saw the mess of red on his thighs. Spreading the smaller boys legs gently, it didn’t get any better. “Jesus, Armin. This is...”

Armin recoiled, his grip tightening on Mikasa’s forearm that was pressed tenderly over his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-“ The girl tilted his head backwards, meeting his eyes with a soft and reassuring gaze.

“Shh, not your fault. Just look at me.” She tried to distract the blond boy as much as she could whilst Eren was busy cleaning up the blood with a wet cloth. He dropped the pink-tinged rag back into the bowl of warm water. Mikasa didn’t know how Armin was managing to stand, let alone walk around, with all the blood he was losing. She stroked over his hand with her thumb. “There you go, you’re doing so good.”

She watched as emerald green eyes squinted in confusion. “What are you gawking at?” Eren frowned and sat up straight.

“There’s no open wounds. They’re all scabbed over or sewn closed.”

Armin sat up, pulling his knees to his chest and covering himself with the blanket. “See, I told you. I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong.” The brunette looked up to meet Mikasa’s eyes. It was impossible, he was bleeding heavily, and now from his mouth too. There was no way he was uninjured. “Are you done staring now? Can I get dressed?”

Eren pushed the blanket up a little. “One second, I just need to put this antibiotic stuff on..”

“W-Wait, don’t touch-“

“Done.” The taller boy was already tucking the topical medicine back into its box.

“Oh..”

The blond pulled some clean clothes back on, stood up, and brushed himself off. Mikasa pursed her lips together with uncertainty. “Maybe it’s just the infection that’s causing the bleeding..” Eren nodded.

“I think that’s exactly what it is. We managed to dodge a trip to the hospital though, I’m glad.” He patted Armin on the back lovingly. “You don’t hate me for it, do you?” He received a shake of the head from the smaller teen.

“Of course I don’t.” He tucked a strand of blond hair behind his ear. “Just don’t play Doctor with me again if you can help it, it’s uncomfortable.”

The other male scoffed in mock offence at the blond’s little joke, nodding and ruffling his hair. “I promise that’s the last time I’ll ask you to do that.” Armin let out a disgruntled groan at the way his lengthy hair tangled under the touch.

Blue eyes turned their attention to the inky black haired girl. “Mikasa, could you trim my hair down a little bit?” She nodded, taking hold of his unwounded hand.

“Come, I’ll do it in the kitchen.”

—————————-

Leading the boy into the kitchen and sitting him down on one of their wooden chairs, she rummaged through the drawers for a pair of barbers scissors. She and Armin had similar haircuts, so they’d been cutting eachothers hair since they were twelve. They’d both gotten quite the knack for it over the years, and the blond had never had to mask his awkwardness whenever he walked into a women’s salon since. “What kind of style are we going for today, Sir?”

Mikasa saw his lips curve upwards into a small smile after she had cracked that joke, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling back. “The usual, please.” He hummed, and the grey eyed girl could hear the grin in his voice.

“Of course.” The girl set to work on trimming the now almost shoulder length hair. She found herself running her fingers through it more often than she was cutting it, though. It couldn’t be helped, Armin’s hair was a beautifully pale golden colour and ever so soft, Mikasa could stroke her hands through it gently for hours.

His quiet voice pulled her out of her trance. “Mika, I think you’re getting a little distracted.” Right, she was supposed to be cutting it, not admiring it. She got back to work, snipping off small pieces here and there. The Armin she knew had always had the same haircut, chin length with bangs. It got him into some odd situations, sure. Sometimes he would be mistaken for a girl in public, and the blond would have to stop his friends from correcting whoever had made the mistake in order to spare them both the awkwardness. She supposed his feminine face could have been to blame too, though. She giggled under her breath.

“Sorry, I can’t help it. It’s so soft and pretty.”

Still, it suited him well. This was how Mikasa had always remembered him. With his beautiful blond hair that framed his face, and hid the forehead that he’d always been a little insecure about. As kids, Eren had always said that it was because he knew everything, so his brain was huge. Whether that had helped or made it worse, she didn’t remember.

Brushing a few stray hairs off the boy’s shoulders, she tucked the scissors back into the drawer, taking a step back to admire her work. “Does it look better now?” Mikasa nodded, patting down the odd couple strands that had stuck up a little.

“You’ve never looked better, Ar.” She led him to the mirror that was situated over the fireplace across the room. He turned his head from side to side, checking it out. The raven haired girl had to stifle a chuckle when he ran his fingers through it, only to look shocked when he came to the end of it just below his chin. “You’re so funny sometimes. When you cut hair, it gets shorter.”

“I _know_ that.” The blond shoved her playfully. “You’d be a great hairdresser, I think.” She snickered, a little doubtful. Armin always tended to be a little too optimistic at times, that was one of the many things she loved about him.

“I only know how to do one haircut..” Mikasa tried to smooth out a kink in the back of his hair, but found herself instead stroking over the area over and over. Armin leaned into the touch.

“You’re petting me again.” He smiled and rested his chin on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him affectionately, enveloping him in her loving embrace. He was so warm, and soft, and _alive_. Alive and at home with her and Eren, where he belonged. They were his, he was theirs. He didn’t belong to anyone else, and Mikasa swore she would hurt anyone who tried to claim ownership of him ever again.

“Mine.” The taller girl hadn’t noticed that she’d said that aloud, but the blond boy didn’t seem to mind. He hummed, burying his face in her neck. She smiled, sitting down on the couch with him and pulling him into another hug. “I missed you so much.” Mikasa pressed her lips to his forehead and gave him a gentle kiss after sweeping his bangs aside. “You’re so beautiful, and brave, and strong.” And it was true, no one was braver or stronger than him.

He’d been subjected to constant bullying and beatings ever since he was tiny, and although they’d become significantly less frequent since Mikasa joined the picture, older kids still managed to find a way to pick on him when she wasn’t there. Not only that, but his parents had died when he was only seven, leaving him in his grandfather’s care until he also passed away four years later.

And then there was everything that had happened this year. Armin had been to hell and back, and yet he still greeted everyone with a beautiful smile first thing in the morning. He still woke up everyday with a purpose, a resolve to continue. There were times where things were extremely hard, but he’d yet to give up. That was the work of nothing but unrivalled courage if Mikasa had ever seen it, and she had. The pride she felt everytime she caught sight of or thought about him, was something that couldn’t be described in words.

He’d given them a scare earlier that morning, but they had managed to handle it themselves, and things were finally looking up for their little group of three. Armin took hold of her hand, interlocking her fingers with his before resting his head on his shoulder and closing his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of me, Mikasa.”

“Always. I’ll keep doing it, forever and ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got contrasting requests for chapter contents, which was a little difficult, so I tried to incorporate some of both. 
> 
> Some wanted Armin to explain everything to his friends so I did that. Some people also want more angst, which I find easier to write than happy stuff anyway.
> 
> I have a little bit of writers block after fourteen chapters of this and consistently uploading a new chapter every 1-2 days, so updates will come slower now.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	13. Chapter Twelve

Armin woke to the feeling of gentle tapping on his shoulder. He groaned and shrugged it off. _‘Leave me alone, whoever you are. I’m comfy, and tired.’_ When the tapping didn’t stop, he lifted his head from where it was resting on Mikasa’s chest and prepared his biggest, most offended pout for whoever was the cause of it. It was Eren, and he laughed. “Don’t frown at me like that, I might piss my pants.” He was joking of course, the blond’s scowls were never particularly threatening.

“I’m comfy, what is it?” He buried his face back into the girl’s breasts, was he being rude? Maybe, but at the time he didn’t care. The lights were all too bright and he needed something to shield his eyes. Besides, Mikasa didn’t seem to mind at all as she threaded her fingers through his freshly cut hair.

Eren poked his cheek gently, and Armin squirmed away from the annoying touch. “We’re going to the arcade, we might have a couple games of bowling while we’re there. You wanna come?” A stupid question really, the smaller teen instantly rose from where he was laying cuddled next to Mikasa, his vision still hazy from having just woken up. At first he wondered whether or not he’d be able to with his injuries, but was surprised to find that the pain from earlier had settled down into significantly smaller volumes. Perhaps the simple act of taking his medicine was what he had needed all along.

“Yes! I mean.. um.. Yes, I want to come.” His voice came out a little more excited and enthusiastic than he’d intended, and he mentally scolded himself. He really wanted to come. More than anything, he wanted to go out and do the things he’d always done. The arcade especially, was a place of happiness and familiarity. The twelve of them had been going since they all met back in their first year of middle school.

“Are you ready to leave now?” Mikasa asked from her relaxed position underneath him, it was then that Armin realised he’d been resting a lot of his weight on her, and quickly stood up. “It’s fine, you’re not that heavy.” Yeah, he knew that much. The way his ribs and hipbones protruded more than they probably should was something that Armin had needed to get used to. He was gaining the lost weight back rather quickly though, his body naturally storing the fat after having to become accustomed to how few and far between his meals were.

The blond brushed the messy bedhead appearance out of his golden locks, pulling on his coat. “Yeah, I’m ready to go.” The others were gathered in the living room waiting to leave. Connie and Sasha were carrying backpacks with overflowing amounts of tickets in them, earned from years and years of going to the same arcade and playing the various machines. Ymir with an empty one, where she would carry the winnings that she was so confident she would claim. Bertholdt had his bowling bag with him, which contained his own bowling wall. Due to his long limbs, the tall boy was especially talented at the game, so much so that it had become one of his hobbies over the years.

Mikasa was wearing light clothing considering the season, and Armin assumed that it was most likely because she planned on playing a lot of DDR, which was her favourite. Reiner was stretching his shoulder, it seemed like he was planning on helping them win big tickets with his talent for the arm wrestling arcade game.

Jean opened the front door and everyone made their way down the apartment block and into the parking lot. They all squeezed into the giant minibus that Historia had borrowed from her family, with Reiner being the only one out of all of them who was old enough to drive. Back when they were younger, they would either walk to the arcade or use three different cars and get their parents to carpool them there.

Just the drive to the arcade was fun, they were all laughing and making jokes at eachother. Every now and then Bert would get overwhelmed in the passengers side as upwards of six people yelled song requests at him. And there was of course Jean getting road rage despite not actually being the driver. Connie and Sasha had started an incredibly loud, unfathomably annoying game of ‘I Spy’, and would not stop despite some very creative threats from Ymir.

Reiner pulled up outside the building in question, and everyone hopped off the bus. Mikasa offered her hand out to Armin, and assisted him in stepping out of the rather high vehicle. The impact upon landing after that small jump from the step to the floor caused a mild stabbing pain in his gut, but it didn’t last long.

Upon entering the building, they were given their bowling shoes and directed to their alley. Annie had paid for the game, which was shocking in itself, but no one was going to interrogate her for the sudden generosity. “I think that’s Annie’s own way of telling you how much she missed you.” Reiner chuckled as he nudged Armin gently with his elbow.

Armin watched from the bench as Jean and Marco took their first throws. Marco got a nine, and Jean scored a spare. Sasha returned from the counter with their drinks on a tray. She passed one to him, and he took a sip. _‘Oh! It’s orange and passionfruit juice.’_ It was his favourite drink back when they were younger, and he was flattered that the chestnut haired girl had remembered. The blond must have spaced out for a while just sipping at his beverage, because he heard Historia yelling his name. “Hey Ar! Your turn!”

“Oh! Okay!” He nodded and grabbed one of the lighter bowling balls from the rack. It was nearly the end of the first round, and Bert was in the lead as they’d all expected. With as much force and accuracy as he could with one arm, he tossed the ball down the alley, and watched as it knocked over five pins to the left. Not bad for his first time in a year, he supposed. Grabbing his second ball, he tried for a spare, leaning towards the remaining five pins on the right. He only managed to knock one of them down, however.

“Six! Not bad considering how long it’s been!” Eren cheered him on from where he was sitting on the bench next to Mikasa, they were both sharing a handful of skittles that they’d gotten from one of those coin machines. Armin walked back over to them and pinched a couple for himself.

“They never clean out these candy machines, kids have probably had their sticky grimy little fingers all over them.” The blond supplied as his popped a few in his mouth. Eren and Mikasa giggled at him, and he smiled back, as much as he could with his mouth now full of various candies. Words couldn’t describe how he’d missed the nostalgic taste of the little sweets from those twisty arcade coin machines.

Logically, they were nothing but a waste of money. You’d insert a coin only to be given a sad handful of candy, one so small that it wasn’t even worth a fraction of the price you’d paid for it. Ymir always said the same about the tickets. How you’d spend twenty bucks on various games and only come out with enough tickets to buy a small chocolate bar. Sasha and Historia would always shout back with something about how that was all part of the fun. And in many ways, they were right.

The game came to and end, Bertholdt won by a landslide, and no one could say they were surprised. Connie and Sasha were already running off from the group to to play the various arcade games in an attempt to earn more tickets. “Is there anything specific at the prize counter that you’re saving for?” Armin couldn’t help but ask. The shorter boy turned his attention away from the LED screen for a moment to answer his question, pointing towards the counter that he’d inquired about.

“The top prize is a ticket to use a pitch for three days and two nights on this camping site. Sasha and I have been trying to win it forever. It’s got a private hot tub and anything.” Connie explained as he aggressively mashed buttons and pulled on joysticks. Sasha continued for him as his became too involved in his game to pay the blond much attention.

“And since you’re only paying for use of the site, you can bring as many people as you want.” She smiled. “Well, technically we’re not paying for anything, as long as we win it.” Ironically, the girl said this as she inserted yet another coin into the machine. These two could be really dense at times, Armin hadn’t had the honour of forgetting that.

“It’s basically a free vacation.” Connie finished as he collected the tickets that had been piling at his feet. For a second Armin was going to try to explain to them how no, it wasn’t ‘basically a free vacation’ at all, that the camping supplies and the gas used to get to the site, not to mention the fact that they’d need to eat while they were there, would end up costing them hundreds, but he figured it was a lost cause.

Connie suddenly leaped up from his seat, fist bumping the air. “Woohoo!” He celebrated as the words ‘HIGH SCORE’ flashed on the screen and what seemed like endless amounts of tickets were ejected from the machine. Armin flinched at his sudden yell and ducked under the seat.

The short haired teen lost his balance when he tried to bolt around and make sure the blond was okay, tumbling backwards only to be met with a large hand at his back, steadying him. It was Reiner, he must have come over to join the three of them. Bertholdt was following closely beside him. The taller blond squatted down next to where Armin was situated on the floor, cowering a little. “Everything okay? Eren asked me to come check on you..”

The shorter of the two nodded, taking the hand that Reiner had extended out to him and pulling himself back onto his feet. Once everyone was certain he had recovered from the little scare, their previous interaction continued as usual.

“You’re planning on bringing us with you on this trip, aren’t you?” He inserted himself into the conversation so casually, as if he hadn’t just saved Connie from what would have been a nasty fall. The shorter boy turned around to see who had rescued him from his fate of hitting the ground.

“Reiner! Of course we are!” He hummed, having seemingly completely forgotten about his near accident and Armin’s fright, instead now completely focused on how pleasantly surprising it was that tickets were still spurting from the slot on the machine. “We want to take everyone, my family has a pretty big tent that we can borrow.”

Bertholdt unzipped his bowling back and held out a rather large wad of tickets. “In that case, take these. I got them for winning the bowling game but I don’t really have much use for them.”

Sasha took the tickets from his hand, marvelling at how many there were. “Awesome! Thanks B!” She turned her attention to the small blond boy, trying to take his attention off the recent public shock. “Armin, are there any games you’re good at with decent ticket payout?”

Armin wondered for a short while. There was the big bass wheel, but that was more luck based than anything. He had only ever managed to get the half-jackpot. Then there was the many rhythm games scattered across the arcade. That was right, rhythm games. He instantly thought back to his favourite game of all. _‘I’ll need both hands for that.’_ He frowned as he looked down at his useless left arm, bound in a bulky cast. “If you’ve only got that one arm for now then I’ll be your other one.” Reiner grinned and his motioned towards one of the button based rhythm games.

“Eh? Really?” The blond was dragged over to the aforementioned game by the taller boy, he was pulling on his good arm. He remembered the game well, he used to love it to the point where Eren and Mikasa would chastise and moan at him to ‘play something else for once’, as the former had so kindly put it. Armin smiled at the memory.

“I’ll be your left arm, you just hit the buttons on the right. Got it?”

He nodded, and they started a round of one of Armin’s favourite childhood games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today marks a month since I started this fic, thank you for reading!


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Armin didn’t end up playing for very long. As much as he’d have loved to, his legs were getting tired just supporting what little weight he had on him. He supposed in all the excitement, he’d allowed himself to forget that he was still very much injured. Still, he managed to earn a couple hundred tickets for the group. Bertholdt had noticed his fatigue and found him a place to sit and rest for while, and he was grateful for that.

“Thanks Bert, I owe you one.” The blond sighed, a little exhausted as he gulped at the soft drink the taller male had bought for him. Bertholdt had brushed off Armin’s gratitude, sitting down beside him on one of the few benches in the arcade, claiming that the smaller looked dehydrated, and so it was only his duty as his friend to make sure he got his hands on a drink.

“I think Reiner said he’s going to take us home soon.” Jean commented as he joined the two boys, his voice raspy with pants and his face still glistening with sweat after an intense battle of DDR with Mikasa, which he had very obviously lost. “Connie and Sasha are racing to see if they can hit five hundred thousand tickets and redeem the top prize before we head out.” Armin gave a small smile at the prospect, looking up to find that Jean was absolutely right. Connie was whacking moles seemingly before they even appeared, and Sasha was yelling at him enthusiastically to go faster, to which the shorter teen loudly replied back that it was impossible for him to do so. They looked like they were having fun.

Reiner and the rest of the group came to round everyone up, and the duo began begging for more time. “We can come again another day, it’s not the end of the world.” Historia explained as comforted what looked like a near-tears Sasha. Eren and Mikasa headed over to where Armin was sitting in the middle of Bertholdt and Jean on the bench, and the blond didn’t miss the way their eyes scanned him over as if he would have caused himself a graphic injury playing pac-man of all things. Their overprotectiveness since he returned to them was to be expected, though, and he didn’t chastise them about it.

“Have you eaten?” The green eyed brunette asked him as he extended his hand out to him, it wasn’t as if Armin necessarily needed the assistance in standing up, but he appreciated the gesture.

The blond almost rolled his eyes as he rose to his feet. “I’m on a liquid diet, Eren.”

“No excuses, drink the ketchup from those icky dispensers if you have to.” He scoffed at his best friends comment. To be completely honest, Armin hadn’t been eating as much as he probably should. When the mention or sight of certain things made him unbelievably nauseous, and with how damaged he was inside, he was admittedly a little frightened of food. He hadn’t had it in regular intervals for so long, it was strange just being able to eat twice a day.

“There’s a food place on the way back from here.” Marco added as he helped Connie and Sasha stuff unbelievable amounts of tickets into their duffel bag. “I’m sure their soup is a lot tastier than that instant stuff you’re having at home.” The blue eyed boy nodded in agreement, and their entire group made their way back into the car.

—————————————

Eren watched as his best friend stared out of the window for the entire car journey. He didn’t have to look to know that Mikasa was doing the same. Ever since they’d gotten him back, their eyes were constantly on him, almost as though there was an irrational fear that averting their attention from the boy for just a second would cause him to disappear again. Worrying thoughts aside, he was proud of Armin, unbelievably proud.

The blond boy had ventured somewhere that wasn’t his house or a hospital, and Eren would go so far as to say he looked like he was enjoying himself. It was a huge step, going out in public again. After all, that’s where they took him from in the first place.

Despite the fact that Armin hadn’t been kidnapped in his home, he still had a nervous urge to triple check the locks on the doors and windows before everyone went to bed. Perhaps he feared that his captors may come back for him, because only after checking the several locks on a single door, closing all curtains and shutters, and hours of constant reassurance, would he finally be able to fall asleep each night. Even now, on the road, and amongst his eleven friends, he pushed the lock down on the car door closest to him, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Eren or Mikasa.

Trying to find a place to park was hell, the restaurant in question that Marco had talked about was in the middle of a tiny high street in the town, and Reiner ended up having to buy something from a neighbouring convenience store so he could use their parking lot. They had parked as close to the restaurant as possible, but it was still a short walk down the main road and through the street to reach it. Eren wondered if Armin could manage that. Before he could ask, Jean of all people, did it for him.

“Are you okay with walking that far?” To anyone else, it looked like he was asking Marco the question. The freckled boy’s right leg tended to fatigue a lot quicker than his left, after a car accident when he was younger that rendered half of his body unusable for a good six months. The incident happened a long time ago, before any of them had even met Marco, but occasionally they still had to make accommodations for it. Even so, Eren and Marco, and probably Armin too, knew who the question was really for.

Armin subtly nodded to Marco, who in turn assured Jean that he would be fine. Checking in on the blue eyed boy, especially in such a way that made sure nobody’s unnecessary attention was on him, was never something Eren would have expected from Jean. He supposed he did truly care about his friends, in his own jackass way. The blond seemed to hold up fine during the walk, the way he assured his friends he would. It wasn’t until they were standing at the entrance to the restaurant that things went downhill.

Before both feet were even in the door, Armin let out a gasp, and took a sudden panicked step back, bumping backwards into Ymir who had been walking behind him. Eren didn’t notice his friend had stopped walking until he heard the freckled girl’s shout of annoyance. Turning around to see what the matter was, he caught sight of Armin, who had a hand clasped over his mouth, his face turned a deathly pale colour. Ymir had her hands on both of his shoulders, steadying him. His legs were trembling so hard, the brunette was unsure as to how his best friend was still standing. He sent a silent thanks to Ymir before taking the boy into his own arms, Mikasa already at their side. “Armin! Are you okay?! What’s wrong?!”

The blond gagged as he spoke, his voice muffled by the hand at his mouth that was trying to keep him from upchucking his breakfast. “‘m.. Gonna puke..” He stuttered, shaky legs still desperate to leave the building as if his life depended on it. The brunette pushed past the rest of the group, quickly escorting Armin outside and onto the street, where he immediately threw up into the nearest trash can. Onlookers gave them the odd face of disgust or sympathy, but quickly walked on by after a few warning looks from Reiner.

Mikasa brushed the hair out of Armin’s face gently, he had finished being sick and was leaning over the trash can, panting and silently crying. “Armin? What was it about that place that upset you like this?” The raven haired girl question tenderly.

Armin paled at the inquiry. Eren joined the two of them, stroking a thumb over the back of the shorter boy’s hand in a loving and reassuring manner. Taking a few deep breaths and steeling himself, the blond haired boy spoke up. “It... There was a pool table... in there... _The_ _pool cue_...” Armin sobbed out between heavy breaths, and Mikasa put a steady and comforting hand on his back. _‘The pool table?’_ Eren mused to himself.

Then it hit him, he remembered how they’d found wooden splinters inside of Armin...

_‘No, absolutely not.’_

Eren decided right there and then that he was done trying to figure out the correlation between those splinters and a _pool cue_ of all things. Deep down though, he feared he already knew the answer. “Jesus Christ, Armin..”

The blond started to blurt out panicked apologies. “‘m sorry... I’m sorry!” The green eyed boy pulled the smaller into his arms and stroked through his hair, Armin buried his face into the crook of his neck and whimpered. Eren shushed him gently.

“It’s not your fault. Don’t apologise.” He hummed as he rocked his best friend back and forth in his arms. “It’s _never_ your fault.” The blond’s small body racked with whimpers and sobs, and despite Eren’s assurance that he wasn’t at fault, he still cried out apologetically.

“It is my fault...” He snivelled. “You guys would be able to eat here just fine if it wasn’t for me being stupid about it.” He further buried his face into the brunettes shoulder as a means to escape the concerned looks he was getting from his friends and members of the public. Marco stepped in, offering a comforting hand on the shorter teen’s shoulder.

“It’s not the end of the world. I’m sure there are plenty of other places here we can go to for food. Or if you want to go home, that’s fine too.” Armin shook his head back and forth. He steadied himself and stood up straight, pulling away from Eren’s embrace. Last of all, he wiped his eyes on his jacket sleeve.

“No, I’m okay. I don’t want to go home.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm, let’s go find somewhere else to eat.”

Satisfied that he was telling the truth, Marco led the group in the direction of a similar restaurant on the same street. Before they entered the establishment, Connie stopped right outside the entrance, Sasha bumping into him at the sudden stop, Jean bumping into Sasha, and so on and so forth, creating a domino effect of people bumping into the backs of others. “What the hell is with the hold up?” Ymir yelled from her place at the back of the group, and Connie held up a hand, silencing her.

“Excuse me ma’am?” The shortest male of the group grabbed the attention of a waitress near the front of the cafe. “Do you by any chance have a pool table in here?” The woman looked at him a little strangely, this looked to be a small family owned cafe, why would they have a pool table?

“Uh, no. I’m afraid we don’t. Sorry.”

“That’s wonderful!” Connie smiled and held a thumbs up out to the girl. “Table for twelve, please.” The young waitress nodded, albeit very confused, and directed the group of teens to a couple booths in the restaurant.

“We don’t seat that many people, unfortunately. Are you okay with splitting between two tables of six?” She turned to look at Connie, who she must have assumed was the group leader by now, how laughable that was.

“That’s fine, thank you!” The woman nodded and handed them their menu’s before hurrying off behind the counter and into the staff only door.

“I think you scared her off..” Jean commented from the other booth as he scanned through the various meal options on the laminated piece of card he’d been given. Everyone ordered their food and drinks and settled into comfortable meaningless conversation while they waited.

“When are you getting that cast off?” Sasha asked ask she dug into a gigantic sharing bowl of ramen noodles that she definitely didn’t intend to share. Armin looked up from his vegetable soup that he had been absently stirring the whole time.

“Um, not sure. Whenever the Surgeon says I can... There are a lot of first aid measures on me that’ll need taking off or removing at some point. Like the stitches in my back.” He hummed as he took a spoonful of it into his mouth, producing a happy sounding murmuring noise upon noticing that it tasted good.

 _‘Cute.’_ The green eyed boy’s head supplied from nowhere.

“It was a messy break.” Eren added from where he was seated beside Armin, thinking back to how the Surgeon that performed the blond’s operation described the fracture in question. A comminuted fracture, as in it was shattered, into dozens of tiny pieces. “How did you manage to get it in such a state?”

“I honestly can’t remember.” He mumbled after swallowing down the first mouthful of his dinner. The smaller teen looked like he was in deep thought for a moment, before speaking up again. “Maybe it was trampled? Either way, I think it was broken as punishment for something. But I can’t remember what I did.” Looking around, the brunette noticed that everyone at the table looked more than a little disturbed at the information the blond had brought forward, and it seemed as though Armin picked up on it too. “Sorry.... Killjoy, I know..”

“It’s fine, just eat your food.” Mikasa pushed the bowl closer to her friend, encouraging him to eat. He indulged her, taking another spoonful of the broth into his mouth.

“Yes _ma’am_.”

Sasha smiled at them, and Eren was surprised to find that nearly all of the chestnut haired girl’s noodles had already been eaten. She turned to the green eyed teen and offered him a smile too. “It’s good, right?” She mumbled incoherently, mouth full of ramen.

“Why did you want to know about my cast anyway?” Armin suddenly questioned, his fingers grazing idly over the plaster that encased his arm.

“Oh, nothing much. I was just curious as to when I should book this!” The food obsessed girl produced a small ticket from her pocket. Upon closer inspection, it was the first prize camping trip that she and Connie had been engrossed with. Turns out they’d actually managed to redeem it before the rest of the group forced them to leave. Historia got up from her seat and leaned over the separator between the two booths.

“No way! You actually won it?”

“Mhm! But I don’t want Armin to be injured when we go, so I think we should wait until he’s all better.”

Reiner poked his head around the of the booth, turning to look at the other half of their group. “I agree, maybe sometime in the spring? It’ll be warmer that way.”

“Eh? But the best part about it is the hot tub, and hot tubs are always better when it’s cold out..”

“Too bad, we’re going in spring.”

“You guys _are_ taking all of us, right?”

Loud and excited conversation engulfed the room, and the group of teenagers were asked to leave not long after finishing their food.

“It’s too bad.” Marco sighed as they were on their way home in the car. “The food there was really good, I was hoping to leave a good impression.”

“We never even had a _chance_ at a good impression with Connie’s act at the start.” Ymir scoffed.

“As if!” Connie protested from the back seat. “It was you being an asshole about the preferred season that made them kick us out.” The freckled girl turned around in her seat and stuck her tongue out childishly at the boy, who in turn did the same.

Eren felt a weight at his side, and he looked to find Armin fast asleep on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I combined some of the shorter chapters, so that’s why the number of chapters suddenly went from 16 to 13!


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Armin roused to an abrupt knocking at the front door. He shot up out of bed in a panic, the sudden noise eliciting a reaction of fear in him for reasons he’d rather not think about. Turning to the alarm clock at his bedside, the boy noted that it was just a few minutes past seven in the morning. Armin remembered drifting off in the car on the way home the previous evening. Someone must have brought him to bed when they got back.

Taking tentative steps to the doorway of his bedroom and peering down the hallway, he noticed that Eren had gotten up and answered the door. After a short conversation that Armin couldn’t hear too well, the brunette closed the door.

“Who was it?” The blond asked, ashamed of how small and high his voice sounded in his throat. Eren sat down on the couch, offering a cup of tea to the smaller boy, who took it gratefully and sat down beside him.

“It was just Dad. He has somewhere he needs to go, wants you to come with him.” Armin’s eyebrows furrowed in speculation. “I sent him off and told him to come back in the afternoon, and that you were still sleeping.”

The shorter of the two leaned forward, perplexed. “Huh? Where?” Eren brushed off his question, taking a long gulp of his coffee. When the taller didn’t answer him right away, he became a little apprehensive. “Eren?”

“We can talk about it later, it doesn’t matter right now.” The darker haired boy tightened his grip on the mug handle. “More important, how are you feeling today?”

“Huh? Oh.” Armin waved his hand dismissively. “My hip is giving me a little bit of grief today, but I can deal.” The blond pulled his knees up, trying to get comfortable on the sofa. “That medicine helped a lot with the other pain and the bleeding though, so thank you.”

“Your face isn’t so flushed anymore either, I told you it was the infection.” Eren rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, scrolling through his various notifications. “Still, you don’t have to thank me. I didn’t invent the stuff.”

Armin hummed in response, he still had a deep feeling of unease in his gut about the place of interest Eren had mentioned earlier. Where in particular his father would want to take him, and why Eren looked so tense when he briefly talked about it. “They’re not... going to take me back to the hospital, are they?” The boy’s voice was riddled with anxiety, and the green eyed male quickly switched his attention from his phone to his increasingly perturbed friend.

“What? Of course not, you’re getting better. There’s nothing that would warrant that.” The brunette boy reassured him. “They-“ He paused. “They want you to go down to the police station with Dad.”

When Armin didn’t immediately catch on, instead giving him a look of confusion, Eren reiterated his sentence. “They want your testimony, and for you to point out the guys who did it.” The blond boy’s breath hitched in a moment of terror, and for a few long seconds, he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“N-No. No! They said they wouldn’t make me go to court! They promised me I wouldn’t have to!” Armin had dealt with a lot of things in the past week, but sitting a room where dozens of people discussed and made comments on how he was violated was something he absolutely could not do. He’d heard the awful stories, victims not being believed or taken seriously, and having to watch in utter dread and unrivalled horror as their tormentors were let free.

Even if things turned out in his favour, the boy couldn’t stand to be there as the evidence they had collected from his abused body was presented. He didn’t want people to know. He didn’t want anyone to know.

And above all, he didn’t want to see the faces of his rapists ever again.

Armin felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, and didn’t do anything to try to stop them. “Eren, they promised!” Trembling fingers aimlessly reach upwards until they reached his best friend’s shoulders, and he gripped the fabric of the shirt there tight enough to bruise the tan skin underneath.

“Hey. Easy...” Eren took one of his shaking hands in his own, and held it tightly. “You’re not going to court. I promise you that.” He wrapped his arms around the other boy’s small form tenderly, rocking him back and forth as if cradling a small child. “You just need to go down to the station for ten minutes and tell them that the bastards they’ve locked up are really the ones that hurt you-“

“I can’t!” Gasping between panicked breaths, Armin buried his face in Eren’s chest, his tears staining the front of his shirt. “Th-They’ll- They’ll do it again if they see me!” He was struggling to get cohesive words out at this point, a few of their other roommates had emerged from their bedrooms to see what all the shouting was about.

“Armin, they can’t hurt you again. My dad and an officer will be there, they won’t be able to touch you-“

“I’m begging you! Please, I’ll do anything!”

Mikasa had jumped out of bed, evident by the state of her hair, and had taken Armin from Eren’s hold and into her own in an accusatory way. She kissed him gently on the forehead, tucking his face into the crook of her neck and stroking the back of his head. “Eren! What did you say to him?!” The girl shrieked as she made a fruitless attempt to calm the blond boy down. Eren tried to open his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off. “Don’t even try and tell me you didn’t do anything, he’s completely distraught!”

“He needs to go down to the station and point out his attackers, that’s all I told him!” The dark haired boy yelled back in his defence. Armin shrunk further into Mikasa’s comforting hold, wincing at all the sudden shouting.

“Please stop yelling at eachother..” He pleaded, tightening his unrelenting grip on the girl’s nightshirt. Eren and Mikasa both offered the frightened boy a downcast apology. “Don’t make me go...”

Armin couldn’t, he _wouldn’t_. There wasn’t a chance in hell that he would be coerced out of his reluctance yet again. He’d been cooperative, he’d allowed them to gather the evidence they needed, allowed them examine and scrutinise him over and over, this was where he drew the line.

———————————————

In hindsight, it was stupid of him to think he could put his foot down like that.

It was close to five o’clock in the afternoon. Armin was standing outside of the local police station, Doctor Jaeger and Aunt Carla right beside him. Eren and Mikasa were denied permission to come with him, much to their upset.

The blond had been convinced by his two friends yet again, though only by the skin of his teeth this time around. He supposed he didn’t have the resolve to argue his apprehension to them, or maybe in the moment he’d convinced himself he didn’t care. Either way, that terrifying moment was approaching, and Armin recognised that he definitely cared. He didn’t want to do this. “I’ve changed my mind.” He announced, his voice so shaky and barely there that it no longer sounded like his own.

“Armin, we need you to do this. It won’t last more than five minutes, and I’ll be right there with you. They’re not going to hurt you, I swear on my life.” Grisha extended his arm out to give the blond a comforting pat on the shoulder, but Armin recoiled at the touch, and the Doctor retracted the gesture.

The couple of minutes he had to prepare in the time it took them to reach the interrogation room were all too short, the air felt like it was getting thinner and thinner, his thoughts cloudier and cloudier. They approached the room in question, and Armin caught sight of one of his kidnappers through the large window that saw into it. The closer he got, the more of them he could see. Seven in total, and Armin felt himself get nauseous as a police officer unlocked the door.

Inching inside the room, trying to resist the urge to grab his adoptive mother’s sleeve to help ground himself like a child, and giving in. Carla felt the boy’s tight squeeze on her forearm, and pulled him a little closer, to which Armin was grateful. The officer offered him a seat, but he instead opted for staying positioned where he was with his back to the wall, wanting to put as much distance between himself and the men as possible. One of them, ‘Boss’, as Armin remembered him, looked up to meet his gaze, and the blond averted his eyes as quickly as possible.

“Armin..” The policeman began. “Which of these men assaulted you?” Armins breath caught in his throat, and he tried to gather the courage to speak. Taking a few deep breaths, and squeezing Aunt Carla’s forearm so tight it must have hurt, he didn’t speak the words that came as much as he whispered them.

“ _All_ of them..” He swallowed hard, closing his eyes and biting the inside of his cheek hard enough that he tasted blood. Armin noticed that the men had been numbered. “All of them, except for six...” He gasped out, trying to keep the tears from surfacing in his eyes. “I don’t recognise six.”

“You sure about that?” The man labelled as number six spoke up, his voice raspy and cold. “You think we left you _alone_ when you were sleeping?” The words, though short and fairly vague, carried a lot of meaning, and caused a wave of nausea to erupt in the boy’s gut. He stifled his urge to throw up by replacing the action with a gasp.

“Armin?” The boy paled at his name upon realising that the man who spoke it was neither Doctor Jaeger nor the officer in the room, but instead number three, or as Armin better knew him, ‘Boss’. “Pretty name, it’s a shame you never told me it. No, you never talked much at all now that I think about it..”

Fierce rage surged throughout Armin’s body, something he wasn’t used to. His emotions often being dominated by fear and sorrow alone, he didn’t find himself having enough room or energy to be angry. Not today though, today he felt he deserved to be furious. He didn’t hold back the instinct to lash out at the man.

“Don’t you dare! That name was a gift from Grandpa! Keep it out of your disgusting mouth!” Armin screamed, pulling away from the safety of his parents for a moment and stepping forward to emphasise his outrage. It was daring of him, and the blond wouldn’t have dared try it if he was in his right mind.

No, his name was a precious gift from his grandfather, one of the last things that remained of him after he passed when Armin was eleven, he wasn’t going to allow it to be used in such a way.

“Look at you, trying to act all tough. You think you’re brave? You think you scare me? You’re a coward, you’re _nothing_. If I wasn’t tied up you’d already be bent over this table with my cock up your ass and you know it-“

“That’s enough.” The police officer warned, not wanting to listen to the man talk about how he’d raped the child. Even the Doctor looked like he was seething having to listen to the thug threaten his foster son like that. Carla looked highly disturbed.

“Better yet, maybe I could put my knife up there again? Wasn’t that fun? You squealed like a fucking pig. How are you healing by the way, not very well after that I assume?” The man continued to pry and attack the boy verbally. His words sharp as a blade and the disturbing smile on his face unchanging.

Armin decided in that moment that he couldn’t take it anymore, he pushed past Carla and Grisha and bolted out of the room, running as fast as he possibly could down the corridor as if there was a monster chasing him and his very life depended on it. His foster parents and the police officer called after him but didn’t give chase. It felt like years before he finally got to the reception area, and was considering leaving the building entirely before the woman at the front desk stopped him.

“You okay sweetheart?” She asked gently, moving from her spot behind the counter to approach him. “Armin, right?” The blond recoiled at the use of his name. _‘If this woman knows my name, does she know about my case?’_ Armin perished the invading thought. She was in uniform, she was most likely involved.

The boy collapsed to his knees, panting and gasping for breath. He heard himself sob, and noticed that the tears he’d been so desperately holding in were flowing freely. “Hold on, I’ll get you some water.” The policewoman left his side momentarily, returning with the water she’d promised him. Armin gulped it down greedily before coming up for air, the thin plastic of the disposable cup buckling under his shaky grip. “Those bastards gave you some grief?” She assumed, Armin nodded quietly, trying to calm his panicked breathing.

“S-Said he’d d-do it again... if, if he wasn’t t-tied up..” Wet, blue eyes shed more tears as he hiccuped and sniffled. “I-I hated it. _I h-hated it.._ ” Armin realised he was pouring his heart out to a woman he’d just met, but he couldn’t find it in him to care in that moment, instead opting to grip the front of his hoodie tightly, his voice still shaky and constantly interrupted by whimpers.

“Shhh...” The officer comforted him gently. “It’s okay... it’s done. They can’t hurt you again...” The male officer and his adoptive parents emerged from the hall a few long moments later, rushing to the blond boy’s side in an instant.

“Armin, I’m so sorry..” The apology cam from the Doctor, but Armin immediately clung to his mother, burying his face in her shoulder and allowing himself to cry in earnest. She took him into her arms, squeezing his small frame tightly.

“It’s all over now..” She hummed gently into his ear. “I’m so proud of you.

Armin couldn’t find it in him to be proud of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop starting chapters with a character waking up but it’s so easy to do.
> 
> Anything in particular you want to see in future chapters? I’m kind of running out of fuel again.
> 
> If you have any one shot requests/prompts that I can work on while I continue to write this please comment those too!


	16. Epilogue

“You okay?”

The question came from Eren, it had been a short while since Armin had returned from the police station, and he hadn’t spoken a word since. They’d come back to Eren’s parents house instead of the apartment this time. He and Mikasa had been trying to coax him into talking to them, but his lips were sealed tight. Instead he sat with his head buried between his knees, his mind occupied completely with every last word the captured kidnappers had said to him. The jet black haired girl inched closer to him. “Do you want to cuddle?”

 _‘Yes.’_ Armin cried out inside his own head. _‘I want you two to hold me and tell me it’ll all be okay. I want it so bad.’_ The blond couldn’t bring himself to say that, instead opting for a barely noticeable nod of the head. His friends enveloped him in their tender and comforting love from both sides, and the boy felt tears well up in his eyes again.

“You can talk about it if you want to.” Eren whispered quietly as Armin gripped weak fistfuls of his shirt and tried not to sob. “We’ll listen.” Mikasa hummed in agreement.

“He- He told me he would have d-done it again right there if he w-wasn’t tied up..” The blond choked out the words between whimpers. “I-I know him, he absolutely would have..” Squeezing the hand that Mikasa had offered him tighter, he sunk into Eren’s gentle hold. “I was s-so scared, terrified that he was g-going to break out of those handcuffs and s-sodomise me with whatever he could find. Blunt or razor sharp, it never m-mattered to him. I don’t even r-remember which hurt more.. I was close to bleeding out... _so_ many times.”

His friends winced a little at his words. Eren rubbed the boy’s back lovingly. He had seen the extent of Armin’s injuries, it should be no surprise to him that the blond was raped with a blade at least once, but the implication in Armin’s sentence shook him to his core. First a pool cue, now something ‘ _razor sharp_ ’, as the shorter teen had described it, god knows what that could be. Eren hoped that this was the last of the disturbing revelations of what his best friend had been through. “You’ll never have to go through that again, I promise you..”

“Thinking about him makes me want to scratch my skin off..” Armin sighed, resting his weight fully on the brunette boy and closing his eyes. Talking about it had helped him calm down a little, that was good.

Mikasa stroked the back of his hand gently, placing a soft kiss to it. “Then don’t think about him. Think about _us_ , think about how much we love you..”

“No, I think I need to go wash their touches off again...” Armin removed himself from their embrace and made a beeline for the bathroom. It had become a nasty habit of his, showering multiple times everyday and scrubbing at himself so hard it caused his skin to become raw and irritated. Eren and Mikasa knew this, and tried to ensure that he didn’t hurt himself when they could, but he’d still occasionally do it in secret.

“You already took a shower this morning.” The green eyed boy frowned.

“And I need to do it again.”

“Armin..”

The blond turned around to meet their eyes and sighed deeply. “Don’t scold me like that..” Mikasa stood and took his hand, beckoning him back to the bed. He complied, though not without offering them the most miserable pout he could muster.

“Hey, don’t give me that face.” Eren tussled the other boy’s hair in a playful manner. “You and I both know you don’t need upwards of three showers a day. You’ll ruin your wound dressings, getting them wet all the time like that. Dad already chided you for that.”

Armin lowered his head in shame, sulking a little. “I know, I know. I just... I feel dirty all the time, no matter how much I try to wash the feeling away it’s _still_ _there_..” It wasn’t a lie, the boy didn’t think he’d ever feel clean again. He could sometimes feel the ghost of the men’s touches all over his body, it made him feel sick. Acknowledging it didn’t mean make him any less helpless change it, though.

Changing the subject, Eren leaned back into the pillows, and Armin found himself relaxing a little as well. “How are your wounds?” Armin wasn’t sure how much of a change in subject the question actually was. After all, they were still talking about his kidnapping in some way or another. Still, he supposed he would much rather talk about how his body was healing than how disgusting and tainted he felt.

“Fine.” He hummed in response, snuggling further between them and just allowing himself to enjoy their comforting touches for a while. “Burn stings a little, that’s it.”

“Let me see-“

“Not a chance.” As much as he trusted them, Armin would rather not have to lay with his clothes off as they attempted to fix whatever was ailing him again. It might have worked last time, but he wasn’t at all interested in repeating the process.

Mikasa chuckled. “I figured as much.” The girl idly stroked through Armin’s long blond hair from where she was laying beside him, humming to herself. “I don’t like it when you’re in pain.” She mumbled.

“It’s not that bad anymore.” He reassured her, rubbing his temples as discreetly as he could. He had cried with so much force and hysteria earlier that he’d given himself a small headache. “I don’t even notice it when I’m occupied with something to distract from it.”

“In that case.” It seemed like the start of an idea was coming to the taller boy’s head. “We should occupy you with something to distract from it, right?” Eren flashed him a grin, and Armin wasn’t sure he liked where this was going. “It’s only five forty-five right now...”

Mikasa frowned. “Eren, whatever you’re thinking of is a bad idea.”

“I haven’t even said it yet.”

“My point still stands.”

Eren tsked his teeth in mock offence and resumed his proposition. “I’m just saying.. That if we take Mom’s car, we’ll reach the ocean in time for sunset.” Armin’s jaw nearly dropped at the suggestion, and he quickly dismissed the idea.

“No way! We’ll get into so much trouble!” The blond boy sighed. “Jeez Eren, I know you’re an idiot, but committing grand theft auto on your own mother?”

“You want to see the ocean, right?” Mikasa asked him.

He did, he _really_ wanted to see it. It was his favourite place on earth and he’d been kept from it for so long. Nothing brought Armin inner peace and calmness like the ocean did. Eren’s ridiculous offer was so tempting, and even the usually sensible Mikasa didn’t seem opposed to it. “You only live once, Armin.” The green eyed boy smiled.

Of all people, Armin knew that. After all, it was at the risk of his life, and all the others at the underground facility, that they were able to alert authorities of their situation and be rescued. It was at the risk of his life that Armin would try to put up a fight against his captors on bad days where he wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

Sneaking out to go to the ocean for a couple hours? That wasn’t at the risk of his life, but at the risk of an extensive tongue lashing from his parents. The boy smiled to himself. What was that, compared to what _he’d_ been through?

“We’re going to get into so much trouble when we get back..” He mused, the smile evident in his voice. “Oh what the hell, let’s do it.” Eren laughed out loud, and Mikasa made a noise of amusement in her throat.

———————————————

Sneaking out of the house had been much easier than anticipated. Carla and Grisha were in their room, and the trio had simply led them to believe they were going downstairs for a few hours to watch movies. Even noise of the car pulling out of the drive must have been dismissed as the neighbours.

“You’re sure you know how to drive, Mika?” Armin called from the passengers seat, the question pointless since they were already on the road. The girl had made Eren ride in the back, much to his disappointment. The blond leaned back in his seat, listening to the sound of the tires humming against the road and the radio playing quietly.

Arriving at the sea was an experience, to say the absolute least. Armin could hear the roaring of the waves and the salty smell of the water before he saw the deep blue body itself. Rushing down the rocky path down to the beach, Eren and Mikasa on his tail begging him to slow down, he felt the rushing wind in his hair and the seagulls calling above him.

And for the first time in eight months, Armin _laughed_.

He laughed as he reached the sandy earth at the bottom, flinging his shoes away without a care as to where they landed, something that would make it impossible for him to find them later, but in the moment Armin Arlert didn’t mind one bit.

He laughed as he felt the grains of sand beneath his feet, and looked up to see the waves lapping at the rocks near the shoreline, being pulled slowly further in by the rising of the moon and the setting of the sun. Armin breathed in, a deep, deep breath. Inhaling the fresh air, the smell of the sodium in the water hitting him with waves of nostalgia that were almost as mighty as the ones in front of him.

Eren and Mikasa caught up with him at the bottom. They were crying. They were sobbing because he was laughing, but the blond was experiencing such pure elation in that moment that he couldn’t think to do much else.

His best friends were right beside him, and the most beautiful sight in the world was right in front of his eyes.

It was then that Armin realised.

_He would be just fine._

_END._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe I finally finished this, 35,000+ words later and it’s all over. It was super fun, and I a feel like I’m gonna miss it.
> 
> I’m gonna need some prompts for other works.


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